China, Moss Bonsai, Wine with Lunch

Before I leave for China, I thought I should tie up some loose ends:

April 17th I picked up our visas for China. Of course I got into line as early as possible and managed to score the 2nd spot. Once I went in, I went to one of the windows on the first floor. I handed her the receipt and she handed me another ticket that I had to take to a machine and pay the visa fee (15,000 yen/US Citizen):

Pay money here

Sorry for the blurry quality. I had to take the picture on the sly because all these police-y looking men already warned me once “no pictures”.

Then, the machine gave me a ticket which I had to return to the window and show the lady. At this point, I was handed our visas. You can’t truly understand how process oriented Japan is until you live here.

The other thing I was going to blog about was a Moss Bonsai class I took at Tokyo American Club (TAC). 

We took raw materials:

Materials for Moss Bonsai

And turned them into this!

Moss Bonsai! Wah-lah!

They turned out so nicely, I thought, “Instead of designer handbags, I’ll just give these as gifts for my girlfriends!”

I look at that picture and think, “That was a girl with a mom.” See how happy she was.

Sunday, Cliff, Chase, and I went to Shibuya. Shibuya is known as the “young people” area, so Chase and I fit right in. It was soooo hot and crowded I literally felt nauseous:

Taken from Shibuya Station

I promised them I would meet them after baseball for lunch, so I picked out a place known for its udon and we checked it out. I still haven’t gotten used to the crowds. It is so hard to be outside and constantly jostled around and waiting for slow people in front of you.

Today is the Emperor’s Birthday and the first day of Golden Week so Cliff had the day off, but Chase did not. We have an unspoken understanding when Chase is in school but Cliff is home, that we have lunch date. This morning I went to ashtanga yoga at Under The Light and planned to meet Cliff at a new Italian restaurant near our place. I still feel shaky and I don’t know if it is the grief or jet lag, but I just know yoga will help me so I am forcing myself to go. By the time I got to shivasana, I closed my eyes and I just started crying. This is like the 3rd or 4th time I’ve cried during or after yoga. There is something about all the stretching, twisting, breathing, and pain that just releases a person. One of my teachers at Balance Yoga in Atlanta theorized that because we carry so much of our stress and anxiety in our muscles and joints, yoga pulls all that out and helps us rid ourselves of their physical manifestations. I believe it. While I practiced today, I just felt like my mom was with me.

I left early, just because I was sniffling and I didn’t want to interrupt everyone’s shivasana. On my way to the restaurant, I saw an elderly couple where the wife was being pushed in a wheelchair by her husband (so much like my parents) and that just took me over the edge. I got on my bike and was bawling out loud through the streets of Tokyo. I’m sure people thought I was crazy.

When I got to the restaurant Cliff was already sitting. I told him to order me a glass of white wine as I ran to the restroom. I think the waitress felt sorry for me, because she kept filling our glasses. It definitely made me feel better. I also wondered, “Am I that woman? The woman who has wine with lunch? Where Happy Hour starts at 12:00?” Am I going to have my “special” thermos in the truck when I am waiting in the carpool line? I don’t know. One day at a time, right? I do think I am going to have to start knitting again:

Wineholder

Until next time…

Real Friends and Being Remembered

Dad & Mom at Picnic

Yesterday, it was mostly sunny and in the low 70′s, but because we got that “moist” heat it felt like 80 degrees and I had to go home and change into something sleeveless. It seems like we had 2 weeks of Spring and then Summer decided to show up. Anyhow, there were plenty of people outside enjoying the weather. As I passed all these people, I kept thinking, “Enjoy it now… before you DIE.”

Last blog I talked about how wonderful it was to learn so many new and sweet things about my mom from people who came to pay their respects. Funerals are a good way to learn more about people who you think of as friends.

When my parents first arrived in the country with toddler (me!) in tow, 1 suitcase with clothes, and 1 suitcase full of cloth diapers they weren’t alone. My dad had a group of fresh medical school graduates from Korea who all decided to come over together and they have maintained close contact with one another over all these years. Of course, they were all named Dr. Kim, but I want to talk about the two who really showed us how “true” they are.

Dr. Kim (Julia’s Dad) is one of my dad’s oldest friends. They have known each other since middle school. Thankfully, he is retired from anesthesiology and as soon as he found out the news he flew down to be with us. The man is a saint in my book. When people asked, is that your dad’s brother? without hesitation we say “yes”. He stayed with us through the funeral, held our hands, cried and told us wonderful stories about their lives so many years ago. I know my father will be eternally grateful.

Dr. Kim (Paul’s Dad) is another old friend who lost his wife a few years ago. He is still working as a family practice doctor. In fact, according to many of his friends, he may be working even harder because a couple of years ago, he re-married, and you know those 2nd wives. They don’t like you sitting around the house. Since the funeral was on Friday, he couldn’t make it. So he worked half a day on Saturday and drove 9 hours from Canton, Ohio to Columbia, South Carolina to give us a gift and pay his respects to my dad and my mom at her gravesite. THEN, he got back into his car and drove BACK so he could work his next shift! My dad begged him not to come because he knew how hard the drive is, but Paul’s Dad would not be deterred. Seeing his bright face gave me hope that someday the brightness would return to my dad’s face.

I feel so grateful and tearful as I remember these awesome friends of my dad and mom. There were so many other stories of people going above and beyond, I know my mom would have been so touched. I couldn’t open the door, or turn my head without seeing someone special and then new tears of gratitude would flow.

On a more sour note, there is another “friend” in Ohio, Dr & Mrs. Kang. Mrs. Kang probably talked with my mom every day. It was really shocking when they called my dad and said since they had just returned from a trip to Chicago, they were too tired to come. I can’t help but imagine how pathetic sounding that must have sounded to everyone. I hope their clothes burn for a long time in purgatory. That was mean. I’ll bet my mom would have said the same thing though. She was cool that way.

TOMBSTONE

We had 15 characters and 3 lines to work with because mom is buried at a federal site. All the tombstones are uniform like rows of teeth on a pretty green face. It wasn’t easy, but we came up with:

EVER SO LOVING

NEVER FORGOTTEN

WALK WITH GOD

The first draft from my sisters read:

OUTSTANDING MOM

WIFE & INVESTOR

WE ALL LOVE YOU

I’m just going to blame the grief. Thankfully this one didn’t get signed off on. I asked Mary, “On your tombstone, do you want me to make sure it reads Terrific Computer Hacker?” Then I said, “Make sure mine says something about being a YOGA MASTER”. In the end, they made the right choice.

Life goes on. Chase and Cliff are at baseball today. I need to go to the grocery.

Golden Week Starts April 29th (Emperor’s Birthday) and ends May 5th (Boy’s Day)

May 2nd-6th We go to Beijing, China

May 10th-24th My Dad is coming for visit!

Until next time…

Back

I returned to Tokyo and my family yesterday night (Thursday Night).

First off, I would like to thank all the people who commented or said prayers or just plain felt my pain. You cannot know how much that means until you are the one standing in black. My wonderful husband booked me on the first flight out and I managed to arrive 1 day after my sisters. FYI, there is no bereavement fare when you travel international. I feel badly for those who cannot be with loved ones due to money.

After I found my seat, I told the flight attendant that she was not to wake me for meals, or peanuts, or emergency landing. I asked her to make sure there was a glass of wine next to me at all times so I could take my Ambien any time my eyes opened. The last 9 days are a blur, but the flight coming over… I hardly remember it.

Another pearl of wisdom: Try not to mix grief, jet lag and platform heels. It is literally debilitating. My sister picked me up from the airport in Columbia, South Carolina Wednesday evening (Mom officially died Monday night). The house was busy with so many people but none of them my mom. Koreans are really good about death. The word of mouth network is faster than DSL, and when people hear about a death, everyone likes to score karma points. That night the church group was coming to recite the Day 2 prayers of the Novena. Having gone through Catholic school and Confirmation and never before hearing of this, I asked the “churchiest” lady in the prayer group what the prayers were for. She basically said we need to say them for people who die so they can ascend to Heaven faster. Also, while they are in Purgatory, evidently their clothes are on fire and the prayers are like drops of water helping to douse the flames. I don’t know about all that, but saying the prayers did make me feel better.

The first time I was able to “see” mom was at her viewing. That was much tougher than I expected. Dunbar Funeral Home did a great job with everything. She just looked like she was sleeping. It was so strange because when mom was alive, a lot of times she would look asleep and then when one of us would say something in the room that caught her ear, she would make a comment with her eyes closed.

Between the viewing (Thursday Evening) and the funeral (Friday Morning), I couldn’t believe all the people who showed up to pay their respects. The last couple of years, my mom was on a lot of meds, doing dialysis everyday and in a wheelchair. It wasn’t easy getting around. This kept them in, but it also kept them from going out. Despite that, so many people showed up because they had either heard about it or read about it in the newspaper. Makes me think I need to start reading obituaries.

Before I get into the funeral, I feel like I need to stop now and rest. It is all still really fresh. I will try to blog again tomorrow.

Christmas 2010

Christmas 2010

Until next time…

Signs of the Times

You all know how much I love signs here in Tokyo:

In Roppongi

I know what you’re thinking… “Gurus don’t dance!”

The Japanese are extremely good at doing what is asked of them and not questioning authority. I have oft referred to them as being sheeple. Not in any derogatory way, but more in an innocent and cute way. This is why the only people you see asking for substitutions or exceptions are gaijin. If you are a foreigner, trust me when I tell you,  no one is going to deviate from plan A. This is also why Set and Course Menus are successful here. Everyone just accepts “You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit.”

So What’s Up With all the Protesting?

The interesting thing, however, is you take any nice day in Tokyo and along with the beautiful weather, the sounds of birds chirping and delicious smells wafting, your ears will be accosted by loud static-y megaphones mounted on propaganda trucks. Sometimes they’re political, sometimes they are social, sometimes, it’s roasted sweet potatoes (my favorite).

Evidently, there are no noise ordinances

There are other signs of dissention from people who choose to disagree with political policies, I think these people are protesting for Falun Dafa They don’t make a lot of noise. They just pray a lot:

In Front of Chinese Embassy

Some Japanese feel so strongly about something, they’ll do it all alone:

He believes he can make a difference

Sometimes, you are your own sign:

My guess, he's protesting bad fashion

Isn’t it funny that every city has that guy. The guy everyone in town knows as “that crazy dude who walks up and down the street talking to himself…” even in Tokyo!

Until next time…

Good Times

Stamped & Approved

VISA FOR CHINA

After 3 visits. Success! Last Thursday, at 8:15 am I assumed my position in front of the Chinese embassy (all documents in hand) and got my receipt! I pick up our visas on Tuesday. Cliff has booked the hotel and flights. We leave May 2nd and return May 6th. Of course, you all will get the play-by-play as we continue in this adventure we call life.

Friday was the Opening Day for Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. The first performance was for 4th, 5th and 6th graders at 1:30pm. Because Cliff and Chase were going camping with Cub Scouts on Saturday at 5:30am, I attended the elementary performance and came home so we could all eat dinner and I could help Cliff and Chase pack. The performance went fine. I thought their last rehearsal was better, but at this point the quality standard deviation is probably 10%. I’m still incredulous that we ended up with such a decent show given how it was looking just 1 week ago.

Knowing Cliff and Chase were going to be gone this weekend, I was really torn as to what to do. I knew if I made plans to go out, as it got closer, I would end up wanting to bail. However, I also know if I stay home all day and night, all I will end up doing is eating junk food and watching Columbo or Korean dramas. So by Friday, I started inviting myself to other people’s plans.

Proud Scout

Saturday arrives and Cliff and Chase have managed to leave without getting me up (so nice). When I do get up, I realize it’s raining. Not just mist, but a steady pour. I feel badly for Cliff and Chase for about 2 seconds, and then start getting ready for my day.

One of my goals Saturday was to find a very unique tailor. Cliff somehow managed to create a tiny hole in the front of one of his suit pants. After taking it to my alterations lady, she told me this was beyond her realm of abilities. I needed a kakehagi specialist: Someone who specialized in invisible cloth repair (WTH?). Believe it or not, I ended up finding a boutique that has been around forever through the TAC member services. So after spin class, I took Cliff’s pants to the American Tailors shop, where ironically, there are no American Tailors, and no one speaks English. Estimated Cost: 5,000-6,000 yen.

By the time I start heading back to the apartment in the rain, Nghi and I have made plans to get together for dinner at 7:00pm.

SaturNight 6:50pm. I walk out of the apartment with my Tokyo Black leggings, knee-high boots and bustier. Cliff cracked me up once when he said, “So let me get this straight, you put your bra on to go to bed and take it off to go out !” Mmmhmm. That’s right. I expect my boobs to flop around when I’m dancing, not when I’m trying to sleep. At this point, Cliff has been sending me all kinds of pitiful photos of himself and Chase trying to camp in the rain:

Trying to dry his wet sleeping bag over the fire

I would send back pictures of me having fun:

Subject: What I'm Doing Right Now

I explained to Cliff that I was strictly going out because I couldn’t have a blog about living in Tokyo and not have a night out in Roppongi. Roppongi is known as the “party” district. Full of bars and clubs and stuff to get you in trouble. I go through Roppongi all the time during the day, so seeing it at night and partaking in its wild weekend scene was really fun. An interesting thing to note is Roppongi gets very “dark” at night. I mean this literally and figuratively. You hardly ever see black people during the day in Tokyo. And please, don’t misunderstand where I’m coming from. Black people do not bother me. I con’t have trucks with Dixie Flag stickers on them, I like their music, and sometimes their food (I say this all tongue in cheek of course) plus, I’m going to play the Atlanta card. However, when I say Roppongi gets “dark” at night, I’m talking Nigerian dark. According to sources in the know, these are people who are paid to bring customers into clubs/bars or sometimes they are pimps. Nghi and I had difficulty walking 2 blocks without coming across someone trying to “recruit” us. Michael already told us if we earned any money, we needed to give him 10%. After dinner, Nghi and I started looking for a place to have drinks. We checked out GasPanic but I had to leave. Felt too much like rehearsals. Lots of kids. I then remembered someone (over the age of 35) had recommended Motown as a fun place to go after dinner. There was a nice range of ages, and it is one of those places that plays great music and even though there isn’t a dance floor per se, people just get up and dance when the mood hits them. We had a GREAT time.

Drunk picture

By the time we were ready to leave, it was well into the wee hours of the night. The rain had stopped, the temperatures were pleasant and the streets were still packed! It was definitely a good time, but I don’t think my knees could handle doing this on a regular basis.

SUNDAY

I woke up feeling like I had a mouth full of cotton balls. I checked my phone and saw Cliff had emailed me already:

5:30AM and 28 degrees. Not the warmest place to be. We will or at least I will be doing nothing else today upon arrival.

Survived the Night

OK. He wins.

Until next time…

Sakura no Hanami

CHERRY BLOSSOM SEASON

I have no doubt that now is the best time to visit or live in Japan. We are in the midst of Sakura no Hanami. Literally meaning: Cherry Blossom Viewing Season. Recently at a dinner out, I mentioned how surreal and interesting it is that an entire nation gets so excited about blooming trees. One of the guests explained that for the Japanese, the Sakura is a metaphor for life. “It is beautiful and fleeting”.  Yes, this is dinner party talk in Japan. Personally, I think Sakura no Hanami must also mean: Leave Your Pants at Home Girls. I don’t know if it’s due to the season or the fact that the temperatures have gone up by 5 degrees, but there are a whole lot of blooming thighs getting viewed too:

During this time, everywhere I go, everything is sakura related. There are desserts, teas, foods all incorporating the blooming cherry blossoms. It is difficult not to feel like an inspired photographer.

TWILIGHT

The increased time I am spending with teenagers compounded by the fact that I am now pushing my way through the 3rd Twilight book has made me realize: I hate teenagers. Maybe hate is too strong a word. Some teenagers, make me gag. The truth is most of the kids I’ve been working with are sweet and innocent. There are a few “shining stars” even. But I have come across one girl who I swear, could be the focus of Bad Seed 2. Someone did her a real dis-service and made her feel too special. Anyhow, whenever I come across kids who are so comfortable being defiant to authority figures, I’ll admit, I get a little scared and then, very quickly, I get thoroughly disgusted. I told Cliff, this is why I can’t work on long-term projects. It doesn’t matter what you do, there is ALWAYS going to be that one asshole you can’t get away from. Anyhow, getting back to Twilight. I can’t believe the author has spent so much of the book with bullshit writing like:

  • Him: I love you
  • Her: No! I love you!
  • Him: But I love you more
  • Her: Impossible! I love YOU more!
  • Him: I want you so much
  • Her: Then bite me already
  • Him: No! [insert gagging noise]

At this point, I just want everyone to either die or go live in Alaska. I haven’t seen the films yet and now I have no desire to. I’ve been around people like this in person, and call me “bitter married woman” all you want, but it hurts my eyeballs when they look in the back of my head that long.

PRESERVATION

My latest attempt to re-apply a new skin to my phone has failed. When I reached into my pocket only to find a sticky, rolled up tube that was my new iPhone screen skin, I realized: You can’t be a born-again virgin. Maybe it’s the cherry blossoms. Maybe it’s the sake, I don’t know. I see the falling and the fallen petals all around me and realize, no one is desperately trying to re-attach those things to their branches again. You have to enjoy the beauty as long as it lasts, and then move on. Like my yogis always tell me, “Be Present”.

Until next time…

School Daze & Trying to Get to China

SCHOOL CLOSING

In the States, I have experienced or known of unexpected school cancellations due to snow, ice, hurricane, and violence. Last week, I experienced my first school closing due to High Winds. Because so many students in Japan commute by trains, if the winds are too intense, much like a ski lift, the trains have to stop running. It does seem ironic that Tokyo can survive earthquakes, but if the winds get too high they worry about trains flying off their tracks. Truth be told, I have never experienced winds as crazy fierce as those in a Tokyo typhoon.  Oh well, Chase got an unexpected half-day and because my cooking lesson wasn’t canceled, he ended up meeting Cliff for lunch and spending the rest of the afternoon being “home-schooled”.

HITTING THE WALL: CHINESE VISA

My second attempt for a visa was again unsuccessful. My first attempt happened to coincide with the Chinese holiday Qingming Day, or Tomb Sweeping day. It’s hard to believe anyone can make a living with all the holidays. Remember, call first before you go anywhere.

On my second try, I thought I would take pictures depicting the waiting line as it grew. We live very close to the Embassy so I get to see it regularly. I never expected to actually be a part of it. I decided to get in line at 8:15am even though it opens at 9:00am:

8:15 am

My spot is marked by the pink backpack. There was actually a family of 4 in front of me when I assumed my position.

8:35am looked like this:

8:35am

When I went across the street to take this picture, the police officer chastised me for jay-walking. I had to walk to the crossways every time.

As 9:00am arrived, some Chinese embassy officials popped out of the building and set up a table ala airport security-style with baskets for “metal objects”.

8:55am

It was so funny watching people get dropped off in front of the Embassy and watching the realization on their faces that they had to walk another block to get in line. Once the doors opened, we rushed in and you have to go to the 3rd floor and go from window to window. They checked my papers. I didn’t have a photocopy of my (and Chase’s) passport and alien card so I had to get in line for the photocopy machine (luckily I was early so I didn’t have to wait for that) but then I had to get back in line at window 1. You basically go to Window 1 for a ticket to get to Window 2. When my turn came up, I went to Window 2, and she said I needed my hotel reservation and plane tickets. With that, she quickly  handed me a copy of the application procedures along with all my papers and shut the window. It was all very Wizard of Oz, Dorothy-San style. As soon as I left, I of course called Cliff to thank him for wasting 2 hours of my life. Will let you know how much further I get on the “yellow-brick road”.

THE GRADUATE… years later

Last night, we finally rendezvoused with Andrew. He’s so cute and very “fresh” (vampire term). Cliff met him at the station, and Chase and I met them at our favorite soba restaurant in Azabu Juban. I don’t know if it’s a sign of maturity or maternity, but as Chase and Andrew sat next to each other, I couldn’t help wondering what Chase would end up being like when he goes to college. How would he act if he was traveling overseas on his own? Andrew got on Chase’s good list as soon as he realized they could talk about video games and DragonBall. Andrew got on my good list as he talked about his interest in Japan and his desire to explore the city. He’s our first visitor and it is so nice to see the city through “new eyes” as only a visitor can bring.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

So the countdown is on. Friday the 13th is opening night. I’m not going to say it’s Glee, but it’s definitely a show. I do have my favorite numbers and my favorite cast members. It’s been an interesting experience and I have enjoyed working with some of the kids. I have also made some interesting observations about people who choose to work in high school settings. Not being faculty and being more of an outsider, it has been a revelation on many levels to work with the kids and adults. If it sounds like I keep talking around something, it’s probably because I wish I could say more, but I have to  wait until we’re out of the country to spill my guts.

Until next time…

 

 

The Graduate & China Part 1

This morning, Cliff told me Andrew finally arrived in Tokyo. Andrew is one of Cliff’s best friend’s grandson who is going to attend Japanese University. I met Andrew a very long time ago when Cliff and I were just dating at said friend’s party, and at the time, he was just a little boy. Anyhow, I am very excited to see Andrew again after all these years. Worst case, he’s some shy, pimply faced kid with glasses. Better case, well, anything outside of that. Since he has just arrived, I know he hasn’t started classes and he’s probably looking for places to explore. This morning Cliff and I had this conversation:

  • Cliff: Andrew just arrived in Japan
  • Me: Who?
  • Cliff: Remember Andrew?!? I told you he’s coming for school?
  • Me: Oh yeah… excitedly So when are we getting together? Will he come for the weekend?
  • Cliff: I don’t know. Probably not.
  • Me: Well, let’s get together for dinner Friday (darn! I have rehearsals) maybe Sunday brunch?
  • Cliff: Okay. We can talk about it later.
  • Me: Why don’t you give me his email and I’ll contact him directly.
  • Cliff: Mmm, no. I’ll take care of it.
  • Me: Don’t you have more important things to do?
  • Cliff: silence

Mrs. Robinson. Paving the Way for Cougars

I know what is happening here. I felt like maybe I should have reminded Cliff my last name is Wright not Robinson. Am I a bit Pavlovian at the sound of lawnmowers on a summer day? Maybe. Do I like to surround myself with attractive people. Guilty. Am I living vicariously by reading the Twilight series? Yesssss. But do all these things warrant his reluctance to letting me get my hands on this young man? I should hope not. I don’t think of myself as a cougar anyway. Puma, maybe, but cougar, no. Will let you know when and how the reunion goes.

I finally broke down and started reading the Twilight series. I’m hooked. As I get older, I find myself relating to vampires more and more. Who knows? maybe one of these days I’ll start dressing in torn up black clothing and paint my face white like they do on Harajuku Street:

Girls from Harajuku

GOING TO CHINA

On a completely different topic, Cliff and I have decided to go to China with Chase. So this will be the first in my “China” series.

I hate filling out applications so you can imagine my dread when Cliff brought home 12 pages (6 for Chase and 6 for me) of Visa application forms. Then, I had to get color passport pictures for Chase and myself but these are not hard to get because there are photo booths everywhere in Tokyo. Most thoughtful husbands delegate this application process to their eager-to-please assistants at the office, but in Cliff’s world, everyone’s an assistant.

Visa Application

I checked the website for the Chinese Embassy (which happens to be a couple blocks down from our apartment) and in addition to the application you need:

  • Passport with enough pages
  • Alien registration card
  • Photocopy of Passport & Alien Card
  • Photocopy of Hotel Reservation Certificate
  • Photocopy of 2-Way Ticket
  • Visa Fee (for American citizens it is 15,000 Yen or $181.29)

I don’t have a Hotel reservation certificate or 2-way ticket, but whatever. When in Japan, one quickly learns you never have the right or enough documentation and you will often be coming back at a later date. I did notice that the Visa fee for Japanese citizens is 3000 yen and for any other citizen it is 4000 yen. WTH? Just another example of how the Chinese are fleecing Americans. Maybe I’m being too quick to judge. Maybe our visas get us on the fast boat to China.

[insert Chinese gong sound here]

Until next time…

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