Monthly Archives: June 2012

Old Habits

June 29, 2012 By in Aesthetics, Cooking, Culture Shock, Summer in the US Tags: , , , , , 4 Comments

COOKING FOR THE KIDS

I was really excited to cook for my nieces. Having a Korean mom (my sister Mary) and Taiwanese Dad, these are girls I knew loved to eat such things as kimchee, duck eggs, pig ears, etc. So of course, they would love my udon, my yakisoba, my Indian dishes. The first night I cooked, I decided to make udon and it was not a hit. Chase, Mary and I were the only ones who ate it. Next, I made my favorite rice and mixed beans and this met with the same result. My last attempt at cooking for the girls, I cooked a simmered kabocha dish thinking, “who doesn’t like kabocha?”  People who don’t like pumpkin. People like my nieces. Sometimes, you just have to know when to stop. It was at this point I realized the cost effectiveness of me buying ingredients for “exotic” new dishes which would not be enjoyed by more than 2-3 people, just wasn’t worth it. I think Mary was sort of relieved I quit too. I think she liked what I was cooking, but she probably felt badly that the girls just weren’t into it. It just goes to show that sometimes, kids are just used to certain dishes cooked  by their parents and that’s what is comfortable for them. I understand that. I fondly remember dishes that my mom made and even though I may order these same dishes at other places, it just isn’t the same and never as good.

CHASE

Yesterday after Dad, Mary, Chase and I came home from playing tennis, we saw a runaway basketball rolling down the street as we turned into Mary’s driveway. Chase jumped out saying, “I’ll go get that ball! Maybe I’ll make some new friends!” A few minutes passed and he came walking through the door. I said, “You didn’t want to play with the boys?” and he says, “They were racists.” Evidently, after the boys all convened, one of the boys started right off reading Chase’s shirt: LOVE. SAVE. JAPAN. and then saying, “What the fuck?” They then “asked” if Chase was Chinese, to which he responded “I’m not Chinese.” and walked away. After he told me what happened, he asked me if he handled it alright. I said, “Are you alive to fight another day?” I also asked him how he felt. He said he felt like punching them in the face. I told him if they provoked him again or dared to lay 1 finger on his body then he had my permission to punch their faces. I can’t help it, but when I hear about kids like this, I  judge the parents. I already know these are people not worth knowing. I was watching the news about that bus monitor who was horribly bullied by the kids on her bus and the way the parents were “handling” it. I don’t get it. I hate that the rest of the world has to hear about that kind of crap from the US, but I guess that’s the world we live in. At least it ended up where hopefully she’ll be able to retire.

Fortunately the next day when we went to the neighborhood pool, a 12 year old boy named Steve approached Chase at the diving board and asked if he could play with him. It wasn’t 10 minutes before they came over and Steve was asking if Chase could come over to his house or even spend the night. I had no intention of letting him go over to some stranger’s home, but I kind of played along a little bit because I could see the surprised look on Chase’s face. Even he was a little shocked at how quickly this relationship was moving ahead. At one point, Chase actually slapped my bottom just a fraction “too hard” trying to be funny. I got the point, but I just liked torturing him a little. I said, “Chase, why don’t you walk over to Steve’s dad and introduce yourself?” Later on, I explained to both of them that I couldn’t just let Chase go spend the night at someone’s home without knowing their parents and that we could meet here again after everyone returned from camp. I was glad that through Steve, white boys in America didn’t all have to be “racists”.

ADJUSTING

The other day on our way out to run errands, I actually asked my sister, “Does this look too much like pajamas?” After months of putting on heels just to go to 7/11, I had to laugh at myself.

Chase, Dad and I finally went to see the Avengers. As I was walking towards the theater, Chase and my dad come running out. Chase says, “Mom! What’s our seat assignments?!?” and I say to him, “Honey, we’re in America, no assigned seating.” To which he says, “Awesome!” and heads back in. The movie was pretty action-packed and easy to watch if not follow. I have to admit, I think Capt. America is my favorite. I’ll bet a lot of immigrants feel like this. Everytime he was onscreen I felt like crying. I think it’s because he represents what being American should be.

Not a Racist

CLEAR & BRILLIANT UPDATE

It’s been a week since I had my face lasered. I can already tell, I love it. There isn’t a huge difference but I can tell there is a tightening and smoothing that has happened. I know it will only get better with each successive treatment. The sandpaperiness went away a couple of days ago. I also felt like I had a small “breakout” but it only lasted about 2 days.

My skin looks fine when I don’t have any expression (but how long can that last?). I started to notice when I took pictures, there were extra lines around my mouth and into my cheeks that sort of were new and definitely unwanted. I think this is going to help that a lot.

TIMELINE

July 2nd Drive to Columbia with my dad

July 7th Drive to Atlanta

July 8th Lunch with my Atlanta BFFs!!!! (pictures of course, that means you Debra!)

July 9th Fly back to DC

July 17th Clear & Brilliant the Sequel

July 20th Fly to Maine

July 21st Family Day and Fly back with Chasie!

Until next time…

Camp Kieve 2012

June 27, 2012 By in Chase, Summer in the US, Transportation, useful Tags: , , 2 Comments

 Yesterday I sent my only son on his first solo domestic flight. If you have never had this experience before, allow me to share so you will be prepared. We had to book Chase’s flight through United. We are normally Delta people, but Dulles to Portland, Maine, this was pretty much it. It costs an additional $99 ONE-WAY to have an escort for your child. The day before camp opening, Camp Kieve emailed me and provided the name, address, cell phone for the pick-up person in Portland, Maine. I then contacted United to provide them with the information. The airlines need to have pick-up person’s driver’s license information exactly as it is written or else they will not hand off your child.  I was instructed to be at the ticket counter by 11:15am and the escort would be waiting for us. I was feeling very melancholy that morning and decided to skip my morning workout to spend as much time with Chase as possible, plus I promised myself I wouldn’t use my “angry voice” all morning so we could all leave on a happy note. We also took a lot of pictures so we could see if chase grows any while he is away.

Chase, Mary, Charlotte, Jessica

Mary lives very close to the airport, and we wanted to get there a little early. A selfish (and probably overly confident) side of me is thinking, “Drop off at 11:15am, I can make boxing at 12:00.” So I dress to go exercise after the drop off, which means, spandex and my boobs hanging out. My dad waits in the car by the curb. I get to the “unaccompanied minors” line and although there is only 1 person in front of us, I swear it took them 40 minutes to get their shit straight. I ended up getting frustrated and short with the counter woman. I said, “You need to tell people to show up 2 hours in advance if things are going to be this inefficient.” Then she had the audacity to say back to me, “Mam, you cannot just leave your child at the airport.” At this point I was now frustrated & offended at her implication and I said back to her, “I don’t care how other people raise their children. That was not ever my intention!” They had also somehow mixed up the contact person with the drop off person so we had to straighten that out. After Chase was finally issued a ticket and paper bracelet (identifying him as unaccompanied minor), she handed me a ticket. “What’s this?” To which she replies, “You need to take your son to the gate.” WTF? I asked her, “So let me get this straight. I paid for an escort for my son, but that person is only taking him from the gate to his seat and from the seat to the gate?” “Yes.” FYI people. You are welcome.

Now I am thinking about my poor dad who has been doing laps around the airport for almost an hour and will be doing more laps before I can get back to him. My noon workout is not going to happen anymore and I am now going with the flow. Chase and I make it to the gate 10 minutes before departure at 12:15pm. Most of the passengers are on the plane so I have a chance to say good-bye. I give him my strongest hug at the counter and evidently it was lasting too long for him because he kept trying to squirm away from me. Don’t worry mom-readers. I held on tight, to the point where we actually looked like we were having a wrestling match. I’m glad I identified myself as his mom first, because I probably would have been arrested for attempted kidnapping. Chase of course was mortified that people were watching, but not smart enough to realize if he would just quit fighting me, we would look a lot more normal. At one point, I actually said, “Chase! Please honey, let me go!!!” while he was struggling. I admit, I was surprised at my own strength, because Chase now outweighs me and is almost my same height and I managed to hang on to him using 1 arm. Just goes to show, a mother’s power is crazy strong when she wants something badly enough.

By the time I was able to reunite with my father, it was almost exactly 2 hours later! When we got home, we had a little lunch and dad went to play 9 holes and I felt the depression hit me. I went upstairs to take a nap. I know going to this camp is going to be so great for Chase in so many ways, but so many things have happened in the last year that have made me realize how sensitive and fragile my little man truly is. I woke up a couple hours later and ended up making the 5:15 boxing class. Just needed to hit something.

Before the Air-Rage hit me

Chase’s Bus Arrives at Campsite

Until next time…

Making Up for Lost Time

June 22, 2012 By in Aesthetics, Summer in the US Tags: , Leave a comment

CLEAR & BRILLIANT

Being back in the US meant I would waste no time finding a plastic surgeon or a laser machine for a “tune up”. Ever since my last birthday, I wake up everyday wondering “Is today the day the shit hits the fan? or my ass hits the floor?” Will I look in the mirror and find someone who resembled one of my mom’s friends? Since I moved to Tokyo, I have not bothered trying to get any aesthetic procedures. Hell, when a mani-pedi can set you back $500, I can’t even bring myself to make an appointment for microderm. They probably charge by the grain. BTW, I also bought an at home microdermabrasion machine last week, but I haven’t had a chance to use it. I hope it doesn’t end up suffering the same fate as my bread machine. I’m a little afraid to use it. Once I get started though, I’m using that sucker everywhere. I’ll admit, I love trying anything that offers the hope of attaining better skin. Ever since Chase was born, I have always had at least one friend in my contacts who is a licensed aesthetician or has access to a laser machine. Once you hit your late 30′s-early 40′s it is amazing to see the differences among women. You can really tell who has taken care of themselves and who hasn’t. Anyhow, I decided to try the Clear & Brilliant Laser because:

  • It is called Clear & Brilliant
  • Stronger than microdermabrasion, but not as strong as Fraxel
  • It was a Groupon promo

I went in yesterday for my consultation/procedure. I was worried about hyperpigmenting because a few years back, I had my face melted off with another procedure and afterwards I “hyper-pigmented” and it was VERY disconcerting (but obviously not enough to stop future experimentation). According to the doctor & nurse, “The good news is it’s melasma (not hyper-pigmentation). The bad news is, it’s melasma”. Unfortunately there isn’t much you can do. I heard, “Let’s warm up the laser machine!”

DAY 1

  • They have to put LOTS of topical anesthetic on your face to numb the area.
  • It’s only 1 pass with the laser over your face.
  • Takes less than 30 min

The process wasn’t painful for the most part. The worst part was the prep. My face felt hot afterwards and looked red, but not “Hellraiser“. It felt rubbery from the topical, but the skin looked ruddy. That night I took some Motrin and Benedryl to help with inflammation and itchiness.

I know how he feels

DAY 2

Skin is not so red. Don’t feel like I have to “hide at home”. No burning with sweating. The only difference is the skin feels like fine-grade sandpaper. Tiny bumps. I feel like a crack addict who’s fallen off the wagon. I am just so happy. I hope this facial turns into something special. I have scheduled 2 more before I leave for Tokyo. They told me not to expect anything dramatic, but that I would love the texture of my skin once I was finished. Let’s face it: If you aren’t fighting the battle against time. You will lose.

Until next time…

It’s Been a Week

June 20, 2012 By in Uncategorized, Summer in the US Tags: , , 1 Comment

Fictional Character

THE NO HELP HELP

I hate my sister’s helper. After our first full day here, she confided in Mary that she felt really “stressed” and tired. I was with her all day, so it completely shocked me to hear this. Anyone who has kids knows, you throw a new one into a group and it can make your life so much easier. At some point, they definitely prefer to play with one another as opposed to risk being assigned study worksheets or asked to pick up their rooms or bring you a glass of water. This is exactly what happens when Chase, Charlotte and Jessica get together. The only thing I saw her do was drive different places and periodically ask the girls if they wanted a snack. I think she only did that for my benefit. Because the girls are so independent, Mary tells me she really doesn’t care. She says she only expects the minimum from her, and I said, “well, that is exactly what you are getting.” It bothers her more that I seem to be bothered by the helper’s laziness. That’s not the issue for me. I just hate seeing my sister’s hard-earned money going to someone who’s not working hard for her.

What?!?

WHAT IS EVERYONE LOOKING AT?

I’m behind the wheel of a car again. It’s been almost a year. It’s not pretty, People. I know it’s not my imagination, but I feel like the other drivers on the road are looking at me with hating eyes. Every honk is intended for me. Mary drove Dad’s car from the funeral so we ended up having an extra car. I’m making myself car sick with my own driving. How pathetic is that! I also seem to have a worse sense of depth perception because I feel like there isn’t a curb I can’t avoid (sorry dad).

Guess what I’m craving…

MY NEW LOVER IS A CHEETO

I am happy to report that my divorced, single-mom sister Mary is finally getting her “groove” back. Unfortunately, this means I have to listen to her real-life “50 Shades of Mary” stories while I ponder my own celibacy. Luckily, Mary has passed down her old remedy to night time urges: her Costco-size Cheetos bag. I don’t know why I seem to gravitate to these snacks. I never keep trashy snack like this at home, but maybe I need to re-think it.

Once the kids are in bed, Mary and I watch all the trash TV I’ve missed out on like “Real Housewives” and movies on demand. It’s strangely comforting to just zone out and watch other women make big drama out of nothing. It’s such unfamiliar territory ;)

Until next time…

Back in the US of A

June 16, 2012 By in Summer in the US Tags: , , , 4 Comments

Tokyo Tower

Conversation on the train from Tokyo to Narita

  • Me: Chase, I think you should learn Chinese
  • Chase: No way! It’s way too hard!
  • Me: You know it’s an important language right now
  • Chase: If I take Chinese, you have to feed me dried squid and cheese everyday.

I think it’s time to visit America.

Back to the land where men actually hit on women, people are unafraid to have personal conversations on their cell phones anywhere, and where the air smells like hash browns and french fries. I know my last blog about Cliff and I was personal and awkward, but sometimes that’s what relationships can be. I’m not proud of the way I acted, but sometimes, even a Hermes scarf will unravel at the ends a little. Landing in America this time was so different from being here just a few weeks ago for mom’s funeral. I was so oblivious to everything, I missed out on my own reverse culture-shock.

After we landed, I looked at Chase and said, “Do you smell that?” and he said,”Yeah, the air smells like hash browns!” We both laughed a little. Welcome to Atlanta (our lay over). While we were in Atlanta, waiting to collect our bags just so we could re-check them for Dulles (eyes rolling) I saw something no mother should ever witness. As I’m standing by baggage claim, I turn around just in time to see Chase with his entire arm up to his armpit in a trashcan. Despite my fatigue, I had an exorcist moment. The voice of Satan came from my body:

  • Satan Mom: What the HELL do you think you are doing?!?!? THAT is a TRASHCAN!!!!!
  • Chase: I’m just throwing away this paper.
  • Satan Mom: Most people just drop trash from the top of the can opening.
  • Chase: I didn’t want to make any noise.
  • Satan Mom: IT’S PAPER!!!! (in loud hissing whisper)

I can only guess who Chase’s favorite Sesame Street character was:

Role Model? or Bad Influence?

After getting a glimpse of my son being a hobo, I was unnerved and feeling sensitive. Suddenly, all the people around me having their personal conversations on their phones was terribly offensive. I have been spoiled by the quiet consideration of the Japanese culture. It’s all so unnecessary.

The last couple of days have been dedicated to further preparations for Camp Kieve and working through my jet lag. Everyday I am at stores like Bed Bath & Beyond or Dick’s Sporting Goods and it is the kind of shopping that I hate. Nothing I’m buying is pretty or designer. It’s all functional. I used to hate pushing those kid shopping carts built like cars when Chase was a toddler because it felt a lot like working inventory at a warehouse. Compared to the shopping carts in Japan, all the “normal” size carts here feel unwieldy and excessive like that.

Happy Hour

The other night, Mary and I attended a work happy hour. Mary is in the Information Technology industry (specifically Information Security). I never realized how male-dominated that field is. Unfortunately, 98% of the men look like Dilbert and the other 1% look like Doogie Houser. At least they’re American and unafraid to try to hit on a woman. At the bar, whenever someone would express interest in me, I would respond, “You know, I’m old enough to be your older sister.” We had a great time. It was so nice to just hang with adults and be around men that noticed you. I know it probably all sounds so juvenile, but the ladies know what I’m talking about. It’s good to know you still have “game”.  Of course, if someone really ugly hits on you, it’s completely invalidating and makes you want to go home and burn your clothes.

Neighborhood Ice Cream Social

Yesterday we attended Mary’s neighborhood Ice Cream party. It doesn’t get much more Americana than that. The kids had a great time. My jet lag is as expected. Terrible. I am taking naps in the afternoon and then waking up between midnight and 3:00am. The good thing is, I am getting a lot of time to work on my savasana pose. Like 5-6 hours every morning.

Until next time…

Summer Leave

June 11, 2012 By in Chase, Getting there, Living in Tokyo, Uncategorized Tags: , Leave a comment

Yoyogi Park

The last few days have been a frenzy. I still can’t believe Chase and I will be on a plane (along with so many others) to head home for summer months. After Brian left, I was in crazy mode. Some of my craziness included:

  • Saving Chase from Trade School
  • End of School Activities
  • Sayonara Parties & Lunches
  • Baseball Mom Duty AGAIN
  • Preparing for Camp Kieve
  • Packing for Summer Leave (2 months)

Last Friday evening, Cliff and I attended our last sayonara party for Cliff’s golf friend Paddy and his wife Lien. They had been here for 4 years. However, at the last minute, it turned into a Sayonara-Lien-Party because, just like in Godfather III, his company managed to “pull him back in” for another few months. Husbands working in Japan while their wives and kids are in other cities and countries is actually very common.

At the party, we also saw Alexandra and Andrew. Alexandra wasted no time in dropping her news bomb that Andrew had decided to retire again, and they would be leaving for Bristol early July. “Leaving” like moving. In light of being very sad and disheartened that my new Seoul Sister was leaving me, we ordered a bottle of wine and made promises of annual reunions. Thank God they’re rich and can travel. Alexandra and her family will always be a part of my life. I feel lucky just to have met her and her beautiful family.

YOU GOTTA HAVE WA?!?!

Even though it is the beginning of rainy season, it never seems to rain when I have baseball duty. Recently, I finished a book called You Gotta Have Wa. An American insider’s look at the world of Japanese baseball. It really helped clarify a lot of the strange methods of little league baseball. Like:

  • Pre-game/post-game workouts
  • HOURS of practice in deplorable conditions
  • The hierarchy and unexplainable position assignments (although this goes on in the States as well)
  • The idolatry of baseball and its finest players
  • The prejudice and perspective of Japanese towards “Gaijin” players
  • Their admiration of players who “sacrifice” to the point of physical and emotional pain

When I received the latest schedule, I didn’t even bother looking at the mom duty column, because surely, pulling duty practically every week (with the exception of 3 weeks when I was in the US for mom’s funeral and hosting my dad’s visit) I’m thinking I would be given this weekend off. Nope. Ra-i-to San (this is how they write Wright in Katakana) Mom Duty. So even though it rained all day yesterday, I got the email Sunday morning saying “though the fields were very muddy, there were no deep pools of water, so practices and game was still on”. As I pulled myself together, instead of being resentful, I decided to think about the other moms who were going to be out on the fields all summer long pulling duty while I couldn’t. Sweating their asses off in their Japanese burkas trying not to let one UV Ray touch their porcelain skin in 100+ degree weather. I decided I would do my part to help the team Wa (team harmony) and serve my tea at practice… again.

GOING AWAY for SUMMER

I’ve always heard of people leaving for weeks and months at a time. I’ve never quite understood it. I am a creature of habit, so any time I’m away for more than 3 days, it feels like I’m losing control. I know Cliff doesn’t understand how just being in my home alone without having to run the wash or put away dishes on my couch wrapped in my Snuggie is the best vacation ever. So, despite my feelings about extended vacations, I am faced with packing for 2 months overseas. Cliff and I have a system, where I pull everything I’m taking for Chase and myself, and he packs it into a bag. He’s a professional. I’ve had silk dresses I didn’t even have to iron. I look at my piles of clothes, and I realize I’m taking a lot of workout clothes and old underwear. It’s my first time doing this, so I’m sure there are lessons to be learned. To complicate matters, Chase is going to Camp Kieve June 26th-July 21st and I need to pack that stuff too.

Initially, I was feeling kind of sad about leaving Tokyo. Ever since Alexandra and Andrew announced their plans to move, I have been feeling very sad. It doesn’t help that I haven’t had sex in over a week and when that happens, by Day 5 I’m a cranky bitch. There’s a side of me that eagerly awaits every day for my “fix” (especially when there’s a countdown to being apart for 2 months) and when it all comes to an anticlimactic ending, to be honest… I feel bewildered, angry, petulant. I also realize, the less sex I have, the less clothing I wear. The last couple of days, I’ve been walking around with my nipples practically hanging out.

SAYONARA ALEXANDRA

Yesterday, we had sayonara lunch with Alexandra at Mosaique. This restaurant seems to be very popular amongst the Housewife-set. Maybe it’s because it is located between Chloe and Prada, I don’t know. Although at Monday’s lunch, I actually saw 4 men having lunch together.

Mayumi,Me,Grace,Alexandra,Angela

The world of ex-pat living is full of hellos and good-byes. It experiences waves of people coming and going every Summer and Winter. I know Alex’s leaving is hard for me because I feet a deep connection to her. My mom’s dying makes time and friends seem so precious and precarious.

Until next time Alex…

I’ll Stop Being Tiger Mom When You Quit Acting Like an Animal

June 5, 2012 By in Chase, Pearls of wisdom, School, Tokyo, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

The last few days have been tough mom days.

  1. Chase admitted to being bullied on the bus for half the school year
  2. Chase left his mobile phone in the washer
  3. Chase scored an F on his end of year math evaluation

Needless to say, besides trying to be the ultimate tour guide, cook gourmet meals, mourn, look cute and prepare for our summer stay in the US, these last few events seemed like, how do you say? “Straws on my camel’s back?” What the hell is that saying? I don’t know. You know what I mean.

1. Bus Bully

Luckily dad was here when Chase decided to finally admit the situation. Even retired, my father manages breakthroughs. Dad and I asked him why it took so long to tell us and Chase said he thought he could just handle it. God, it just breaks my heart and makes me feel so mad. I’ve never seen my dad get so angry either. He kept talking about using physical force and waving his fist around. For a man who is like “Korean Gandhi” I was in shock. I guess when you have 3 daughters, you don’t feel like you can give that kind of advice. It was also interesting to learn new things about my dad at this point in our lives, listening to him recount stories of his childhood bullies. Anyhow, we decided Chase should try to empower himself by writing an official letter to the school describing the situation and asking them “please help me put a stop to this, before I have to use my physical strength” Dad was making all kinds of suggestions for the letter, but it was starting to sound a little too Columbine, so we carefully edited just how “frustrated” Chase should sound. Next step, he would have a conversation with the principal. We also told Chase, when he got on the bus tomorrow, and when the bullies started verbally abusing him, he was to look them in the eye and say, “This stops TODAY.” The next day, everything went according to plan. The school was all over the situation and called each of the boys in for a conference. We were informed that everyone cracked under the pressure and 2 boys cried. Letters of apology were written to Chase and behaviour was documented. I don’t mind intervening in certain situations, but I am very concerned that Chase is turning into a wuss. He is always “victimized” and refuses to fight back. He has a fear of getting into trouble, which is fine, but it is crippling when you can’t even defend your honor to boys half your size. I hope once his testicles drop, maybe he’ll feel more reactive when someone insults him. Who knows.

2. Can you hear me now?

Ever since Chase was about 6 years old, and we discovered the joy of crayons left in a dryer; we made the rule: always empty pockets before putting clothes in the hamper. There were a few mishaps in the early years, but overall it has been pretty good. The other day, I put a load into the washer and went upstairs to do a little cardio. When I came downstairs, I could hear something thumping in the washer. Like a sneaker or dead body part. I waited to see if it would go away by itself, but it just kept going. Then I decided to investigate and put my face in front of the washer window and watched the cycle spinning round and round. I caught a glimpse of something silver and put my face even closer to the window. Then, suddenly, I saw it! Chase’s mobile phone smack on the window! The next thing I know, I’m seeing red and my mind is in a temporary state of paralysis. Of course I have to stop my front-loading washer, mid-cycle and retrieve the phone. I do an internet search (but my mind knows it’s hopeless) and take the phone apart and throw it into a sandwich bag full of rice. Thank God Chase wasn’t home, because I would probably be typing this blog from my jail cell after murdering my child. By the time he came home, I let him know what I found and that I would be pro-rating the cost of his phone from his allowance until it was paid for. He should not expect a replacement phone, and if he needed to call me, he would have to ask someone around him with a phone to call his mom. Then, I gave him the bag of rice and phone, and said he would have to continue carrying his “phone” with him to get into the habit.

3. The F-ing test

What can I say? I didn’t know whether to yell or cry so I did both. This was the year-end math evaluation for 4th grade students. I told Chase, “this test tells St. Mary’s, Holy Innocents, your teachers and parents what you learned in math and evidently, you didn’t learn anything!” Then I said, “You better start practicing baseball a lot more and working out because you are going to have to earn a living using your body because nobody hires people who make F’s for their brains!” Cliff and I were in Defcon 4. After a miserable evening of condemnation, I realized in bed that night that it really takes a village. I also realized that Chase’s failure was something we all had a hand in: His math teacher, Cliff and me. We dropped the ball. The next morning, I decided to go to school and talk with Chase’s teacher and see if paying these tuitions and being a private school parent I could do anything. Luckily, teacher seemed surprised as well and admitted to not being the best math student herself. She said she would be willing to give Chase (and a few other boys) a second opportunity to take the test. I was so relieved and grateful. That night, I informed Chase of this new development. We agreed we would cram and study all night. He went to bed bleary-eyed and distraught, but I knew all of this was an invaluable lesson: No pain, no gain.

The next morning, we got up early to go over a couple more things. Before he left, I told Chase I didn’t care how he scored on the re-test. I was proud that he sacrificed and studied hard. But I did say to try to at least pass.

I was so anxious all day, and Cliff kept emailing and texting me if I had heard anything. I finally decided I would meet Chase after school to show him my support and take him out for ice cream. When I got to the school, I saw Chase sitting with some friends.

  • Chase: What are you doing here mom?
  • Me: I thought I would take my best boy out for ice cream.
  • Chase: That’s nice.
  • Me: So… How’d you do?…
  • Chase: (looking sheepish) I made an A.
  • Me: (Tears in my eyes) I knew you could do it. (hugs)

I went back to the classroom and met up with his math teacher. She confirmed what he said and let me know she would combine the 2 scores and he would end up having a B-.

Was I interfering with the natural order of the universe? Was I being overprotective? Yes. No one knows what a jungle it is out there better than a tiger mom. Do I ascribe to everything the “Tiger Mom” stands for? Absolutely not. But, sometimes we need to do what we can to help our cubs survive.

Until next time…

Boys & Men

June 3, 2012 By in Cliff, Daily Living, Living in Tokyo Tags: , , 2 Comments

Roppongi at Night

I don’t know what I like better: Night out with friends, or the re-telling of events the next day.

Last blog I left you hanging with, “and I left Cliff, Andrew, and Brian at the bar for boys night out….” It was about 8:30pm. Given Cliff’s face and knowing his personality and preferences, I figured they would be walking back into the apartment at the latest 10:30pm. After all, Andrew and Brian are 21 and 25 years old and Cliff is not.

6 hours later…

2:35am I’m woken by the sound of Cliff and Brian stumbling into the apartment. There is some general conversation going on. I can tell Cliff is trying not to wake me as he comes into our room, but we all know how well that goes when you’ve been drinking all night. I don’t say anything, but I am aware that Brian needs to get in a taxi by 3:30 to make it to Haneda for his 6:30am international flight. Instead of getting out of bed, I email Brian and tell him it’s ok to take a shower. I can’t even imaging trying to travel after a late night like that without a “fresh” start.

The next morning, I was so touched to find a lovely letter Brian had written before he left thanking us for all our hospitality. He is such an incredible boy man. It was a total joy to have him in our company. He always opened my door for me, offered to carry my bags, cleaned up after himself, and even offered to help cook! I can only hope and pray that Chase turns out half as well. Jasmin and Paul have a lot to be proud of.

Cliff and I slept in for obvious reasons. He was still pretty drunk when I started the inquisition. Even though I have begged Cliff to go out more and have more “guy nights”, he rarely does so I found it to be sort of exciting that he would have some “stories”.

Conversations from last night:

Two Russian women were standing at a street light. They were looking over at Cliff and Brian. Cliff and Brian are pretty drunk at this point.

  • Russians: Are you heading to a bar?
  • Cliff: Yes, Are you going to a bar?
  • Russian: Yes, Which one are you heading towards?
  • Cliff: Haven’t made up our minds yet, Where are you going?
  • Russians: Do you speak Russian?
  • Cliff: Sure…
  • Russian: Say something to me in Russian
  • Cliff: Those are some nice big titties.
  • Russian: That’s not Russian
  • Cliff: You understood what I said…

Cliff & Brian walk into a bar and are trying to order a drink, when Cliff notices 4 women eyeballing them nearby. Cliff goes to the bathroom for a little break and when he returns, Brian is chatting it up with the 4 ladies.

  • Cute girl: I need to go. I have a kickboxing class tomorrow. (but she doesn’t leave and continues to keep talking)
  • Cliff: Why don’t you just leave? If it’s so important and get yourself some sleep for that kickboxing class?
  • Cute girl: That’s not a very nice thing to say.
  • Cliff: Well I ‘ve been standing here for 10 minutes listening to talk about leaving. I think that’s a good idea. You oughtta go!
  • Cute girl: Wah?!? (clearly offended, she and her friends leave. Cliff interprets this as a “win”.)

Cliff dispenses wisdom to Brian.

As the night progresses, Brian was continually amazed by Cliff’s superher0-like abilities to distinguish the “Pros” from Pretenders.

  • Brian: I just can’t believe a lot of those women interested in me were actually hookers!?! How do you know?
  • Cliff: When they laugh at everything you say… it’s a hooker.

When he woke up this morning, he rolled over and hugged me and said, “I’m so glad it’s you in my bed.” I’m thinking, “What the hell?” I told him about my prediction that he and Brian would be back by 10:30pm because he looked so bored. He said, “I was bored. Bored out of my mind. But then we found the margarita place and after that it got more interesting.”

Cliff has his faults, but I must admit, Cliff can tell a good story. Listening to his recap of the previous night’s events in his gravelly hung-over voice, I found him to be kind of cool and sexy. I know it’s juvenile, but I like knowing he’s still got game too.

Vanessa, Silver Fox & Debra

Do sleduyushchego raza…

Until next time (in Russian)…

Brian

June 2, 2012 By in Japanese Excursions Tags: , , , 6 Comments

I like to surround myself with attractive, interesting people. To be honest, if you’re attractive enough, I’m willing to float you some points if you aren’t interesting. Whether it’s aging or selfishness, I’m thinking I need to start making friends with attractive children. Luckily, this happens to be the case with my friend Jasmin (my Puerto Rican sister). We were neighbors in Colorado, and I have loved her and her family ever since. I remember her son Brian as this shy, high school student who enjoyed baseball. Imagine my surprise when he shows up on my doorstep all 6ft 2 inches and having traveled the world for 4 1/2 months!

Originally, Jasmin had booked a hotel for him to stay in Tokyo. Turned out to be 2 kilometers from our apartment! I was livid! As soon as I realized he wasn’t here with a tour group, I started emailing her and insisting that he stay with us. If you will recall my last timeline, May 25th-May 27th I was feeling sorry for myself and Brian’s visit gave me a reason to put it on hold for a few days. In true form, Jasmin was mortified to be “burdening” a friend, but because she is my hermana and I understand her, I forced the situation and just told Brian to go get his bags and bring them to the apartment. Done!

Brian mentioned that one of his favorite foods is sushi, so of course today I found myself back at Tsukiji Market walking around and having sushi for lunch. I was happy to go because during my last trip with my dad I forgot to get myself a cereal bowl. I found a bowl that “spoke” to me and I was very happy. It was impressive to see the way Brian enjoyed sampling some of the street food. After walking around for a while, we finally ended up at Sushi Zanmai for lunch.

Fish Egg sacs! Yum!

It was such a pleasant surprise to spend time talking with Brian and getting to know him better. Very quickly, I realized besides being very attractive and athletic, he is a thoughtful, courteous gentleman. Just another reason to appreciate my friend Jasmin. She is not the most traditional of parents, but she has raised three amazing kids.

Ginza

Since we were so close, after lunch, we walked over to the Ginza. I had forgotten that they close the streets to vehicles during the weekend so we were able to enjoy just walking down the middle of the street.

Afterwards, we headed over to Asakusa to visit the shrine and walk through the bazaar:

We had our “Discovery Channel” moment by the incense burner:

Wafting the incense for good fortune

On our way back to the apartment, we stopped by a vendor who was selling things and of course something caught my attention:

Smaller portions in Japan

The sign read, “Grows 40 times its size in water!” I can’t help but wonder how many chicks have  fallen for that one.

Until next time…

Ja Mata

June 1, 2012 By in Dad, Daily Living, Girlfriends, Living in Tokyo, School Tags: , , , , 2 Comments

May 24th 2012 was the day Dad’s flight was scheduled to leave Tokyo. That morning, I opened my eyes and felt a blanket of sadness pull up over my head. I don’t know if all parents are like this, or if it’s a psychiatrist thing, or an old thing, but dad just acted like he did every morning. I on the other hand walked around with a trembling bottom lip and tears on my lower lids, intermittently looking at him and saying, “where did the time go?!?”  Later that morning, walking through the bedroom, I found Lita (my latest helper) crying. Evidently Dad reminded her of her dad.

  • Me: Lita, what’s wrong? handing a box of tissues to her
  • Lita: I’m just sad thinking about my father who died maam
  • Me: (shocked) What?!? Oh! I am so sorry! When did he die?
  • Lita: 17 years ago.
  • Me: silence
  • Lita: sniffling
  • Me: Lita! My mom died LAST MONTH! I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You need to get your shit together or go home! I can’t take it today
  • Lita: Yes maam. I’m so sorry.
  • Me: walking out of the room

Was I harsh? I don’t care. Since mom died, I feel like stuff just comes out of my mouth. Maybe I’m channeling my mom. She was a lot like that.

At the airport, Dad and I had a good “Korean Drama” moment. The Japanese are so stoic.  As I was standing there hugging, crying and kissing Dad, there was an older Japanese dad saying good-bye to his adult daughter who was leaving to fly off somewhere. I don’t know how they do it. I am tearing up just blogging about it now. Most people know sayonara means good-bye. Ja mata is less formal and means see you soon. With my mom’s death, suddenly good-byes seem so final. I hate good-byes. I think that’s why I just leave. I probably got that from my mom too.

MAY IN TOKYO

Whether you live in the United States or Japan, end of school year activities abound in May.  There are lots of opportunities to volunteer at school. In the expat community, everyone will always ask, “So when are you leaving?” “Where are you going?” because all the foreigners (women and children primarily) will leave to travel or visit home. The question gets asked repeatedly because we can’t keep everyone’s dates straight and it’s something to talk about. There are lots of last-minute lunches and dinners before the mass exodus. I wonder what Tokyo is like without all the foreign wives lunching and shopping during the day. Even Tokyo American Club shifts into “Summer Hours” and many activities are cancelled. I have visions of tumbleweeds rolling through Roppongi Dori. There is a side of me that would like to stay to just enjoy the quiet, but then I am reminded of the heat, the sweat-soaked clothing, and showering 4 times a day and I think… 2 months with my sister is a good idea.

Lunch at Alexandra’s

Today I was invited to lunch at Alexandra’s. She calls herself friend, but honestly she feels more like a bossy sister. I love it. It was so nice to share some girl time. It makes me miss all my regular lunches with my girls in Atlanta, Denver, Charleston…. Laughing and talking today was the first time since mom died that I felt close to normal. I hope to see them again.

TIMELINE:

May 24th Dad returns to America

May 25th-27th Feel sorry for myself

May 27th Brian from Denver visits!

June 3rd Brian returns to Colorado

June 12th Chase & I return to US

June 26th Chase goes to Camp Kieve (25 days sleep away camp)

Until next time…

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 62 other followers

%d bloggers like this: