Stifler’s Mom from American Pie

It’s official. I think I have finally completed my metamorphosis into Asian Stifler’s Mom. Tuesday, I was able to make good on my promise to Chase that we would have our annual High Tea afternoon. It was the day before his first day of school and I am a High Tea devotee. Some people are really into The Royals, I just like the tea. With regards to Chase, this all started a few years ago as part of my plan to create the perfect man. Given his emotional breakdown over the summer, I think it’s working because he really loves going as well. We are calling it “Masculini-Tea”. I made reservations at The Four Seasons Ekki Bar & Grill Restaurant. I had checked around and everyone was recommending Ekki. I expect a certain level of excellence from the Four Seasons and this one did not disappoint. The restaurant was lovely and when the food arrived I had the server take a picture:

Tokyo High Tea 2012

Then Chase took a picture:

Hey there little boy…

See what I mean? Maybe I’m not giving Chase enough credit. Perhaps he will turn out to be the next Herb Ritts and be some amazing photographer. This was the tamest of the photos of me he took. He’s so much fun to be around. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all appropriate or not, but as long as everyone keeps laughing, I pretend it’s innocent. The funny thing is Chase is about as innocent as I am not and it’s just fun being with him. I forgot to mention how during the summer, after Chase returned from Kieve, out of the blue, after dinner one night, I hear my sister giving Chase “The Sex Talk”. She never told me about this so I was kind of flying by the seat of my pants. She was already talking about fun topics like Herpes, Crabs, and other STDs (sorry no links) when I decided to get on board and provide visual aids with the iPad. Let me just add here, it’s freaking scary what kind of images are available online. By the time we got to “how to make babies”, Chase was white as a sheet, tearful and threatening to throw up. I don’t know if now was the right time or not, but considering his attendance at an all-boys Catholic school and his recent time at Boys Camp, we figured he was hearing stuff. Good thing we talked because we were able to clarify you cannot get pregnant having anal sex.

One more thing I should mention since I don’t quite feel like I’ve hit rock bottom yet is it is super HOT & HUMID. After a couple of days of wondering: is it me? or my underwear? I have finally broken down and decided to seek treatment after throwing away all my old underwear. I know, I’m gross, but if I can help just one reader out there it’s worth it. I was worried that in the country where you can’t get Motrin (aka Ibuprofen) over the counter, how was I going to get some medicine for down under? Don’t fret fellow sufferers, you can buy medicine over the counter here in Japan. You do need to ask the pharmacist because they keep it in a vault under lock and key. I should have known, between the spandex and humidity and heat, I was in trouble.

That girl is a FunGal

Until next time…