Fifth Grade means having to say you’re sorry… a lot. Like, “Sorry I threw your workbook at you” or “Sorry I yelled so much correcting your homework” or “Sorry my head started spinning after I saw yet another sentence without a period!” Over the past week however, I have discovered the wonderful world of podcasts. Now, I start my day by waking Chase up with Think Like A… Great Student Meditation podcast. Furthermore, I end each night listening to Steve G Jones -Hypnosis to Change Your Life sessions. I’m not saying this is the answer to your evening battles with your children, but I have to say after a week of this, I’m drinking less sake. Books are staying on the table. I’m breathing more and yelling less, and by the way, did you read my last blog? It was like I was on Ecstasy or something. Here’s my advise, if you’re at your wit’s end or just curious. Give it a shot. You really don’t have much to lose.
It’s Fall in Tokyo so that means Autumn Festivals abound! A Mikoshi is a sacred palanquin or litter placed on poles and carried on shoulders. The god or deity of the shrine is placed on the palanquin and then carried out to visit the community and bestow blessings. My good friend Angela, who is my global authority on everything, happened to mention an opportunity for Chase to carry the kid mikoshi through our area for Autumn Festival. I’m always happy to sign Chase up for hard labor. His life is just too damn good.
He was a real trooper. The route was certainly not flat and took over an hour, but they gave the kids plenty of breaks. Chase never ceases to impress me how he jumps right into situations where he has no clue what he’s doing, surrounded by strangers, doesn’t speak the language and just rolls with it! I have so much admiration for him (and a secret bank account set aside for adult psychotherapy sessions). The people in the town thought it was terrific we were there. They let him clack the boards to start the procession and lead the chanting. It was also amazing to see how the people in their apartments would hear us coming and wave or step out onto their balconies. One really old guy walked right out in his underwear and I just looked at another mom and asked her in Japanese, “Is that old grandfather standing there in his underwear?” and smiling, she said, “Hai.” That dude gave me hope that maybe old age will be interesting.
You can’t have school-age children and not be touched by bullying at some point. I recently had a revelation that what Chase needed was some comebacks. A lot of times, I feel like he’s blind-sided by these little assholes and doesn’t know what to say or do. We have encouraged him to punch faces or push, but that’s just not him. God bless him. So I thought, he needs a script. I need to give him some lines to deliver when he is being verbally bullied. For instance:
Bully says “Fuck You!”
- You know what? You are a jerk, and I’m sorry your life sucks (spoken with genuine concern).
- Dude… I’m not gay. (spoken seriously)
- Wow! That’s amazing how you make crap come out of your butt and your mouth! (With genuine awe)
Now I know for a fact I have some very witty readers, so PLEASE feel free to reply back with some of your own.
Until next time…