Category Archives: Cliff

Honesty Over Harmony

March 28, 2013 By in Baseball, Chase, Cliff, Daily Living, Family, Kathryn, Pearls of wisdom Tags: , , , , 4 Comments
Wish I lived here

Wish I lived here

“Honesty over Harmony” was something a woman in Colorado once told me. You know how there are quotes that echo in your mind for the rest of your life? This was one of those. It was the title of a course she and her husband took after an episode of infidelity. I can’t say I agree on that front, but I do believe it has a purpose (more on that later, probably).

After my last blog, I received some “honest” comments and by that, I mean death threats… mostly from family members (aka Crazy Middle Sister). This, I expected and understood, but this is my blog, and if the truth hurts, I can only suggest some personal introspection. If anyone should be sending me nasty messages, it should be Cliff and Chase. They have oft been the inspiration for my blog and usually don’t know about it until I’ve posted. I always appreciate their feedback, listen to their pleading, but if sugar-coated family times are what they are looking for, I suggest they start viewing old Leave it to Beaver or Brady Bunch episodes. To their credit, they have an amazing sense of humor and surrender about the whole thing. It also means I can count on at least a few days of super “good behaviour” after I roast them in a blog. I love them for putting up with my rants in person and in Blogsphere.

Not Us

Not Us

I like to think I am most honest about myself. People I know who read this blog tell me how much they laugh sometimes. Do I get offended? No. I never know what makes people laugh, but if my life-adventures bring a chuckle or two, call me Mother Theresa. If you’re the type of person who is offended by everything, Freakin’ A, let me be the one to tell you, no one likes you or wants to spend time with you… and YOU WILL NEVER FIND A HUSBAND. Back to me. The other day, I went out, in my usual Brazilian, spandex workout uniform, thinking I looked pretty good. I was wearing the one pair of capri pants that weren’t black (this pair was actually a sky blue). I go to spin, do some yoga, run errands, then I get home. To my horror, I realize these capris give me camel toe to the degree that would make a camel’s podiatrist blush. I’ve been walking around, visiting my fishman (who did give me a good deal on some wild Sea Bass), looking like a Smurfette with no panties! Well, needless to say, I peeled off those pants and they were retired in the trash can.

I don't get it.

I don’t get it.

SCHOOL HONESTY: Private school admissions letters are due to be mailed out April 5th. We can access the verdicts online by the 6th, but call me old-fashioned and superstitious, but I like the anticipation of trying to use my x-ray vision, waiting for Chase to come home, and ripping an envelope open. Good or Bad, I think Chase needs to experience that for himself. My other sister in Virginia, who is a super spy during the day and yet somehow manages to have time to raise 2 girls on her own and be my personal IT support, told me she thinks I’m too hard on Chase in the blogs and making him sound academically average. That made me a little sad, because that is absolutely not the impression I would ever want anyone to have. Nor would I want him to think I felt like that once he is older and diligently reading and savouring all of mommy’s precious blog posts. I apologize if I have not accurately portrayed my son’s awesomeness. As parents, it is a fine line between being motivational while belittling your child and crushing his spirit completely. I try to ease up when I see quivering chin action.

BASEBALL HONESTY: Little league sure has changed. We (and by we, I mean Chase) are in the Majors playing on the Texas Rangers. Chase has always been The Hitter. He usually plays clean up and hits it over the fence at least once every season. That being said, I told the new coach to please not put him at #4 (Clean Up Batter) early in the season because he puts a lot of pressure on himself and ends up choking at bat. Of course, during practices, Chase was killing the pitches. Really performing well, and by the time games started, they decided to start him at #4. Chase hasn’t had a hit in 6 games. After game 4 they finally put him at #8 which was a big relief to all of us, but I’m worried the damage has been done. We are trying to stay confident and upbeat for his sake, but he cries after every game because he feels like he’s let everyone down. To be honest. This may be our last season.

Chase is #1 in our book. Number 12 on the team.

Chase is #1 in our book. Number 12 on the team.

Net-Net, I’m sorry if feelings are hurt. I try to disguise names as much as possible (not really). With everything going on in my family right now, that phrase, “Honesty over Harmony” never rang more true. I’ve learned one thing: You can eventually have harmony with honesty, but you will NEVER have harmony through lies. Peace out.

Until next time…

Trying To Do the Right Thing

January 29, 2013 By in Baseball, Chase, Cliff, Culture Shock, Daily Living, Family, Kathryn, Relocating, School, useful Tags: , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Getting my Yakult On!!!

Getting my Yakult On!!

It’s been about a month since we’ve been back. Things are just starting to feel “normal”. I say this after going to Buford Farmer’s Market today and practically having an orgasm after finding they have Yakult Yogurt! I must have put on some kind of show because a lady who was nearby asked me, “Is it that good?” and then picked up a case for herself.

I’m still not comfortable driving. I swear every other car is being driven by people on their phones talking or texting and it makes me so paranoid. I keep having to remind myself to STAY ON THE RIGHT! STAY ON THE RIGHT!!! And on top of all that,  I don’t know how Georgia code allows mailboxes to be placed so close to the roads. It’s life and death getting your mail here.

Oops!

Oops!

CHASE

The last couple of weeks it has been like DefCon 4 here at the house. We decided at the last minute to try to apply Chase to different middle school Fall 2013. This involved last-minute EVERYTHING. We are applying to 3 different schools. To be honest, I just couldn’t muster the energy to apply to any more than three. They are like college applications nowadays. So for each school, I have to fill out involved background information and write essays about our family and Chase in particular. We have to pay registrations fees to each school. I have to request transcripts and teacher evaluations for each school from all the schools Chase has attended. I also had to late-register Chase for the SSAT which is required by private schools in Atlanta for entry evaluation. His test date is February 2nd. And by the way, did I happen to mention he had Spring Baseball tryouts last Saturday? All the schools have called and we have scheduled the interviews. Why are we going through this madness when we are already at a school with an excellent reputation that he attended since he was 3 years old? As much as we love Holy Innocents’ Episcopal School and appreciate its loving and nurturing culture, things have changed, and Chase has changed.

Very shortly after Chase returned to school, a boy known for being the bully type came up to Chase in the playground and forced him and a friend to stop playing. This boy, then got in Chase’s face and said, “So what are you?!? Chinese or Japanese?”

Next incident: Same boy comes up to Chase at recess and says, “Hey Chase, since you’re so fat, I’ll bet you’re slow too. Wanna race?”

Today, Chase told me he was challenged by this boy to a tether ball game and after Chase won, the boy hit Chase with the ball bruising his arms.

He started school January 7th.

The bullying is horrible, but this boy was a bully before we moved and it is obvious he has suffered no consequences for it.

The other issue is homework. In Tokyo, we often had 3 or more hours of homework each night. Here, we have hardly any homework and much of the homework is extremely easy. It is very hard for me to sit by and watch while Chase re-calibrates his effort towards schoolwork. We practically had nightly exorcisms to get to the point when Chase could survive academically in Tokyo and now there are days when he has no homework because “there’s a test tomorrow”.

Unlike most Japanese, people in the South have opinions. Especially about things like private schools. I’ve heard enough good and bad stories about every school at this point, I feel like it’s God’s Will. Even if we end up staying at Holy Innocents’ Episcopal School, I will take it as a sign that it is just meant to be. The great thing about HIES is I know they will cater Chase’s program for his needs. Given the fact that Cliff doesn’t want Chase to go to Woodward Academy because it’s “in a terrible neighborhood” (and he doesn’t think Chase will get to play sports because of all the black students), and I don’t want Chase to go to Westminster because I want him to have a life, that only leaves Pace Academy. In case you are interested, tuition to these private schools: Woodward ($19,770), Westminster ($22,270), Pace Academy ($22,570). Applications have to be completed around March and early April is when decision letters will be mailed out.

Making the decision to explore other schools for 6th grade is heart-breaking for me. Chase has been at Holy Innocents’ since he was 3 years old. His best friend is there and we have great friends and memories of the school. I don’t know what is the right thing. All I know is I’m just trying to do the best thing and for some reason this felt like it needed to be done.

Until next time…

Boys Weekend & Bitches

January 20, 2013 By in Chase, Cliff, Culture Shock, Domestic Trips, Relocating, Tennis Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments
Drop Off at the ATL Airport

Drop Off at the ATL Airport

This weekend Cliff and Chase went on their first boys trip together. Destination: San Francisco. They were also going to pick up our newest family addition! Cliff planned a whole trip of visiting friends and sight-seeing. I planned to putter around the house and just enjoy being alone. There was also a Girls Night Out Saturday night.

It’s been about 2 weeks since we have been back in Atlanta. Lots of adjusting and reverse culture shock. I find myself thinking about my friends in Tokyo a lot. It all feels surreal still. One minute I’m surrounded by Asians and now, everywhere I look I see black people. It’s been good to jump back into a workout schedule, but even that is a bit freaky because the women look so “plastic” and the men look so huge. Everyone is starting to look related because they are all out of page 57 in the “Plastic Surgery for Dummies” book. God, I hope I have good friends who will stop me before I inject my lips or suck my hips or enhance my nips.

Boys Weekend day 2

Boys Weekend day 2

This is a picture Cliff sent me on Saturday. I’m not sure this is something any mom wants to see, but at least Chase isn’t wearing an orange jumpsuit and sporting dreadlocks and tattoos.

So Saturday night, I went out with my girlfriends to Del Frisco’s (the latest hot spot in Atlanta dining). I have come to realize that I need to double book GNOs because for some reason people seem to flake out at the last-minute. We went to the St. Regis for drinks afterwards and it was pretty disappointing. Next time I go out, I’m doing some research and finding out where the cool interesting people are hanging out. Everytime I saw a flash go off, I swear, it was like seeing Jigsaw from the Saw series or the CryptKeeper. In Atlanta, if you’re older than 30 and God-Forbid you want to go out somewhere and dance or have a drink, too bad! I miss you Tokyo!

jigsawSunday, I committed to playing mixed doubles for a local team. The captain called me out of the blue because she needed a female for this weekend’s tournament. New team, match play, new partner (who is a man), and it’s super sunny. I was a mess, I thought I would vomit. I got there early and ended up warming up with some people from the opposing team. I felt terrible for the guy I was warming up with because I would have had trouble hitting my ass with a banjo. At one point, he told me he needed to “prepare for his match”, which normally means you want to warm up by hitting. The way he said it, I took to mean, he wanted to quit whistle-dicking around with me.

After being introduced to my new partner, we started warming up right away. Sure enough, those people I warmed up with were our competitors. I still wasn’t feeling great, but too late to back out now. We started hitting and as I played I channeled my girlfriends and my coach from Tokyo. I started to think about representing them in this game and what they would expect. It worked, because we ended up winning 6:1.6:0!

Returning to familiar places is comforting and unsettling at the same time. Things are familiar, but then I realize I am different. I have seen and done things now that color my vision. So much changing and adjusting to do, for all of us. The weather was perfect today, so I took Maggie on a long walk. We needed to talk about the new baby. I reassured her that she was my first-born and I would always have a special place in my heart just for her. Plus, I told her, with the new baby, the bitches out-number the boys now!

Baby

Baby

Until next time…

Happy New Years!

January 5, 2013 By in Aesthetics, Cliff, Relocating, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

Happy New Years!

2013 Year of the Snake

2013 Year of the Water Snake

The years of the snake are significant to me because it is the year Chase was born. According to Paul Ng (geomancer & philosopher), this is a year of conservation, re-building, and changes. It’s been five days since 2013 started, 2 1/2 weeks since we arrived in America, and we’ve spent 2 nights in our home.

The house looks good albeit huge compared to our Tokyo apartment. We have had plumbers, painters, furniture movers, and deep cleaners, Oh My! It’s not perfect, but at least our renter didn’t turn out to be a hoarder (I’ve seen this happen). Chase has only spent 1 night in the house because my dad decided to come down and visit this weekend instead of next (evidently he wants to make a road trip to Florida). I think my dad has a busier social schedule than me. Because we don’t have furniture on the main level, Chase and Dad are staying with Bess. The one night Chase did sleep in the house, I think the size of the house, our voices echoing through furniture-less rooms, and too many scary movies on the plane got him scared. I kept telling him to “grow a set” whenever I heard him whimpering.

What a wuss!

What a wuss!

I got my juicer yesterday, and I had barely finished unpacking it when Cliff and I got to grinding right away… carrots that is. Our new juicer is the Breville Juice & Blend BJB840XL. What surprised me, is that Amazon sells it for 50% more than retail price! One of my 2013 resolutions is to maintain my weight and juice everyday. It’s funny how you hit a certain age and just keeping things status quo involves a lot of suffering. I was walking the other day and happened to get behind some lady wearing tight, tan, pants and as she walked I swear I could see her cellulite rippling through the fabric with each step. I was engrossed and even stumbled a couple times, but in my mind I was thinking (in a Southern accent), “Lord, why did you show me this?!? Is it not bad enough that I scorn my melting knees and elbows?” After that, I vowed never to wear pants without at least 1 pair of Spanx on board.

Size Matters

Size Matters

I know you are wondering, that is Cliff’s carrot. I know, it’s huge. It’s true, everything is bigger from Texas.

Until next time…

Welcome to America

December 27, 2012 By in Chase, Cliff, Culture Shock, food Tags: , , , 1 Comment

Yesterday, after breakfast, Cliff and Chase took a road trip to Charleston to visit our jeweler (my ring needed some fixing) and Cliff probably wanted to put as much distance between himself and my sneezy, sick self.

In Japan, the term “wa” refers to a certain state of harmony. I have started using it as an acronym for “Welcome to America”. The day proved to be another “W.A.” kind of day.

——Original Message——
From: Cliff Wright
To: Kathryn
Subject: On our way back
Sent: Dec 26, 2012 2:09 PM

May take a little longer…chase taking the poop of his life! ;-)

Clifford F Wright
Managing Partner, Tokyo
Global Practice Managing Partner
Supply Chain and Logistics

——Reply——
From: Kathryn
Sent: Thursday, December 27, 2012 04:51 AM
To: Wright, Clifford F
Subject: Re: On our way back

Listen, you need to be more patient.

Mary just got a call from Sam’s Club where dad bought 2 packs of smoked salmon. We just learned these packages are a part of a nationwide recall due to Listeria contamination. His frequent bowel movements are one of the early symptoms. I’m exhibiting the rest (i.e. dizziness and nausea). It can take up to a week to resolve. I hope he’s okay. Chase only had it for lunch on Christmas eve. I had it twice which I believe contributed to my immobilization yesterday.

Drive safe,
K

Net-Net: Christmas for me involved food poisoning, jet lag, and flu.

Until next time…

First 5 days of Christmas…

December 26, 2012 By in Cliff, Getting there, Relocating Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment
Checking In

Checking In

From the hotel to Atlanta, it took us 17 hours. Then we had a 5 hour layover in Atlanta before we could board the plane to take us to Columbia, South Carolina. We weren’t in first and we weren’t in coach. We were in Plane Purgatory also known as Economy Plus. This is where you are just on the other side of the curtain, where you know it sucks, but you can have as much beer and wine you want to ease the pain and the seats are slightly bigger. Of course this is all canceled out by the large 11 year old using you as a human pillow.

Yoga Helps

Yoga Helps

At one point, Cliff removed one of his ear buds and motioned for me to do the same:

  • Cliff: (In hushed tones) Remember that bag of mixed nuts I packed?
  • Me: Oh yeah! Gimme some!
  • Cliff: Well, I had them squirreled away between our seats and half of them spilled out on the floor when I got up.
  • Me: Oh. My. God. You are so “coach“. You’re the one giving everyone here a bad rap!
  • Cliff: Just watch where you step.

After we got off the plane, Chase cracked me up by whispering in my ear, “Mom, it’s so weird being surrounded by all these gaijin (Foreigners).” Welcome to America. I noticed this sign in the airport in South Carolina:

Dare to Dream in SC

Dare to Dream in SC

I guess “having it all” means, graduating, being a welder, working on a pole, or being a band leader. What in the world?!?

I spent all Christmas day on my back. I know what you’re thinking, but no, I was laid up with the flu. So horrible. This morning I decided to force myself out of the bed before I got a case of bed sores. Mary arrived on Christmas Eve with the girlies and the kids have been having a great time. The adult situation has been a little more stressful.

Kids Getting Along

Kids Getting Along

Every family has that one “crazy” relative. For us, it is my sister Bess. I have diagnosed her with “Dating Dementia”. I don’t think it’s in the DSM yet, but it should be. She’s the one with whom everyone is walking on eggshells. I am so aggravated by the situation, but I’m trying to be more understanding less judgemental. I know a lot of her craziness comes from not being married, not having a child, and her inability to love herself. I have always believed, if you can’t love yourself, no one else can love you. I can only try so much, then even I have to leave it alone for my own mental health.

Until next time…

See the Difference

December 2, 2012 By in Chase, Cliff, Living in Tokyo Tags: , , Leave a comment

Can you pick out the American?

I love it when white people tell me, “They can tell the difference.”  I can’t tell the difference and I’m Asian! Cliff started talking about his “abilities” soon after we were married. I assumed it was because suddenly he assumed he was Asian-by-Marriage and could say such things. I don’t know how other Asians feel about the issue. Personally, I find it on the offensive side. Now that Cliff has lived in Japan, he is full on convinced he can “tell the difference”. I have heard other Asians claiming to have the same super powers and usually I just think they are full of it and besides that, who cares?

Conversation from a few days ago:

  • Chase: We had an awful substitute teacher in Chorus today.
  • Me: Really? What happened?
  • Chase: She didn’t let us warm up our voices like Ms. Stenson normally does.
  • Me: So you felt off key…
  • Chase: Mom, when you have a low voice like mine, you need to warm up your voice or you can really do some damage when you try to hit the higher notes. (cue crickets)
  • Cliff: So what did the teacher look like?
  • Chase: What do you mean?
  • Cliff: Was she Japanese? White?
  • Chase: White
  • Me: When you say “White”, do you mean she was White like Ms Christenson? or Non-Black, like Hispanic or Philippino?
  • Chase: I think she’s Canadian.

Now that is something to brag about.

So true

Until next time…

Birthday Traditions

November 28, 2012 By in Chase, Cliff, Cooking, Dining out, Kathryn, Living in Tokyo Tags: , , , , , , , 5 Comments

Dessert Presentation

We don’t just celebrate a birthday. It feels like Chase and Cliff celebrate their birth for days. I actually had to question the whole situation this past birthday of Chase’s. Why is it his birthday celebration? Why isn’t it my birth day? I gave birth to him. Hmmmf. Be that as it may, we go on.

Fancy!

One of our now favorite traditions for Chase’s birthday is FANCY DINNER NIGHT. I make a reservation at an upscale restaurant and we all get dressed in our best finery for one another. We started doing this a few years ago and it has become something we all look forward to immensely.

This year we booked a table at Flat Iron Restaurant. When I first heard about FlatIron, I knew it would be a once in a lifetime experience and ergo, perfect for our special evening. Each table comes with your own chef and narrator. Yes, I said narrator or “tour guide”. The cuisine is described as “a two-hour, multi platform cooking adventure that melds aspects of molecular gastronomy and sensory cooking.” I’d like to share a few of the more memorable dishes.

Prix Fixe

We started our evening with cocktails and for Chase, Mocktails:

This is Chase’s “Dos Equis Man” pose

VEGGIES W/ FISH IN A TUBE & Black Truffle Pesto:

The fish is in the “toothpaste”

SMOKE & ICE DISCO: Okinawan line-caught Swordfish with turnip/pear relish

Served in a smoke-filled dome

PLAYING DOCTOR

This was my plate. Chase & Cliff had Striploin instead of Scallops

Chase administers his 1st hot beef injection

Today it’s black truffle juice. Tomorrow, botox!

Because these nights are usually very rich foods, I always make sure I’m super hungry before going. Starting my meal with 3 shots of alcohol on an empty stomach definitely got the night going. Needless to say, everything was delicious and a feast for our eyes as well as our stomachs. It was a tremendous way to end this year’s round of birthdays. Now it’s on to Christmas! Oh and moving!

Bon Appetit!

Until next time…

Low Maintenance w/ a High Maintenance Look

November 16, 2012 By in Chase, Cliff, Daily Living, Japan, Kathryn, Living in Tokyo, Mini Schnauzer Tags: , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

On my first date with Cliff, I let him know, I was “a low maintenance girl with a high maintenance look.”

My Signature Handkerchief

Since moving to Tokyo I have started carrying:

  • My signature handkerchief
  • My own black cloth napkin in case restaurants only have the white variety
  • Black Prada flats to wear when my high-heels are killing me

I recently added to my Japanification

I Never Thought I Could… Go Figure!

  • Fedora
  • 2 Sunbrellas (Formal & Sporty)
  • UV gloves
  • Fur dingle dangle for my purse (Sorry Alexandra. I broke down)
  • 2 Fans (Formal & Sporty)

I still believe I can say I am low maintenance because I am often ready for a night out on the town before Cliff.

FUR PHRASES

Just hanging around the house

You know how “Kids Say the Darndest Things?” I was collecting similar quotes by Ex-Pat wives (ie., “I’m so sick of vacationing in Bali…” & “I wouldn’t wear this myself, but I’ll buy one for my gardener since it’s for charity.”), but then, I realized I could do a special section for just people who own furs.

  • I must take this fur off! I’m starting to sweat!
  • Do you think I’ll need my fur tonight? Please go upstairs and fetch my fur.
  • Is it possible to find a dog that will match my fur?
  • I don’t know what’s worse! Carrying or wearing this animal!
  • This fur isn’t in danger! I’m taking very good care of it.

On my last trip to Korea, I broke down and purchased a fur vest. It’s lavender, but I swear it doesn’t look hooker at all. Well, maybe high-end hooker. Owning a fur suddenly makes you appreciate all the nonsensical fur phrases uttered by my fellow fur fashionistas. It’s kind of like when you buy a Mercedes and then suddenly, every other car on the road is a Mercedes. You know what I mean? ;)

THE ULTIMATE JAPANESE ACCESSORY

Our baby girl!

Recently, I freaked out a few of my friends when I talked about expecting a baby girl. Cliff proves he is the ultimate head hunter and that he can even overcome species. He somehow learned who the “Breeder of the Year” was and managed to score a baby from their latest litter! She is about 2 weeks old and is coming from Regency Breeders. This little mini schnauzer is going to be very well-loved and very fashionably dressed. Chase is already threatening to brainwash the dog to love him best. The plan is for Chase and Cliff to take a Dad & Me trip to California in January (probably over MLK) and do some sight-seeing and pick up our new baby. I can’t wait! We have been talking names and I would like to call her Dokdo (after the island the Japanese and Koreans are fighting over), but we are also considering Stella. I have a gift for naming, so I will wait until I have her in my arms.

Until next time…

A Brilliant Mind

November 9, 2012 By in Cliff, Korea Tags: , 1 Comment

Once upon a time, in an Asian country named Korea, a VERY handsome man patiently stood waiting…

  • Cliff: You’re never gonna believe this
  • Me: What?
  • Cliff: While I was waiting here, a young Korean woman came up and asked if she could take a picture with me.
  • Me: (skeptical) Are you kidding? Korean women don’t start conversations with strange men!
  • Cliff: Yeah, I know! She said she was working on a project for school and needed to take a picture with a foreigner and she saw me and thought, ‘What a beautiful man with white hair!’
  • Me: rolling eyes
  • Cliff: I swear this actually happened! Then a couple of her friends came out from some bushes with a camera and a banner and took photos of me and her.
  • Me: Are you taking some kind of new medication?!?
  • Cliff: Really! She said she was overwhelmed by how beautiful I am!
  • Me: Ok Cliff. Just so I have this straight. While I was in the store, not 50 feet from where we are, some Korean college girls who were so overwhelmed by your beauty, insisted you do a photoshoot with them and finished up before I got back to meet them.
  • Cliff: (pouting) I knew you wouldn’t believe me.

Who is that incredible man?

My dad is a retired psychiatrist, so I have always had a soft spot for the mentally ill.

Until next time…

 

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