Category Archives: Culture Shock

Trying To Do the Right Thing

January 29, 2013 By in Baseball, Chase, Cliff, Culture Shock, Daily Living, Family, Kathryn, Relocating, School, useful Tags: , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Getting my Yakult On!!!

Getting my Yakult On!!

It’s been about a month since we’ve been back. Things are just starting to feel “normal”. I say this after going to Buford Farmer’s Market today and practically having an orgasm after finding they have Yakult Yogurt! I must have put on some kind of show because a lady who was nearby asked me, “Is it that good?” and then picked up a case for herself.

I’m still not comfortable driving. I swear every other car is being driven by people on their phones talking or texting and it makes me so paranoid. I keep having to remind myself to STAY ON THE RIGHT! STAY ON THE RIGHT!!! And on top of all that,  I don’t know how Georgia code allows mailboxes to be placed so close to the roads. It’s life and death getting your mail here.

Oops!

Oops!

CHASE

The last couple of weeks it has been like DefCon 4 here at the house. We decided at the last minute to try to apply Chase to different middle school Fall 2013. This involved last-minute EVERYTHING. We are applying to 3 different schools. To be honest, I just couldn’t muster the energy to apply to any more than three. They are like college applications nowadays. So for each school, I have to fill out involved background information and write essays about our family and Chase in particular. We have to pay registrations fees to each school. I have to request transcripts and teacher evaluations for each school from all the schools Chase has attended. I also had to late-register Chase for the SSAT which is required by private schools in Atlanta for entry evaluation. His test date is February 2nd. And by the way, did I happen to mention he had Spring Baseball tryouts last Saturday? All the schools have called and we have scheduled the interviews. Why are we going through this madness when we are already at a school with an excellent reputation that he attended since he was 3 years old? As much as we love Holy Innocents’ Episcopal School and appreciate its loving and nurturing culture, things have changed, and Chase has changed.

Very shortly after Chase returned to school, a boy known for being the bully type came up to Chase in the playground and forced him and a friend to stop playing. This boy, then got in Chase’s face and said, “So what are you?!? Chinese or Japanese?”

Next incident: Same boy comes up to Chase at recess and says, “Hey Chase, since you’re so fat, I’ll bet you’re slow too. Wanna race?”

Today, Chase told me he was challenged by this boy to a tether ball game and after Chase won, the boy hit Chase with the ball bruising his arms.

He started school January 7th.

The bullying is horrible, but this boy was a bully before we moved and it is obvious he has suffered no consequences for it.

The other issue is homework. In Tokyo, we often had 3 or more hours of homework each night. Here, we have hardly any homework and much of the homework is extremely easy. It is very hard for me to sit by and watch while Chase re-calibrates his effort towards schoolwork. We practically had nightly exorcisms to get to the point when Chase could survive academically in Tokyo and now there are days when he has no homework because “there’s a test tomorrow”.

Unlike most Japanese, people in the South have opinions. Especially about things like private schools. I’ve heard enough good and bad stories about every school at this point, I feel like it’s God’s Will. Even if we end up staying at Holy Innocents’ Episcopal School, I will take it as a sign that it is just meant to be. The great thing about HIES is I know they will cater Chase’s program for his needs. Given the fact that Cliff doesn’t want Chase to go to Woodward Academy because it’s “in a terrible neighborhood” (and he doesn’t think Chase will get to play sports because of all the black students), and I don’t want Chase to go to Westminster because I want him to have a life, that only leaves Pace Academy. In case you are interested, tuition to these private schools: Woodward ($19,770), Westminster ($22,270), Pace Academy ($22,570). Applications have to be completed around March and early April is when decision letters will be mailed out.

Making the decision to explore other schools for 6th grade is heart-breaking for me. Chase has been at Holy Innocents’ since he was 3 years old. His best friend is there and we have great friends and memories of the school. I don’t know what is the right thing. All I know is I’m just trying to do the best thing and for some reason this felt like it needed to be done.

Until next time…

Boys Weekend & Bitches

January 20, 2013 By in Chase, Cliff, Culture Shock, Domestic Trips, Relocating, Tennis Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments
Drop Off at the ATL Airport

Drop Off at the ATL Airport

This weekend Cliff and Chase went on their first boys trip together. Destination: San Francisco. They were also going to pick up our newest family addition! Cliff planned a whole trip of visiting friends and sight-seeing. I planned to putter around the house and just enjoy being alone. There was also a Girls Night Out Saturday night.

It’s been about 2 weeks since we have been back in Atlanta. Lots of adjusting and reverse culture shock. I find myself thinking about my friends in Tokyo a lot. It all feels surreal still. One minute I’m surrounded by Asians and now, everywhere I look I see black people. It’s been good to jump back into a workout schedule, but even that is a bit freaky because the women look so “plastic” and the men look so huge. Everyone is starting to look related because they are all out of page 57 in the “Plastic Surgery for Dummies” book. God, I hope I have good friends who will stop me before I inject my lips or suck my hips or enhance my nips.

Boys Weekend day 2

Boys Weekend day 2

This is a picture Cliff sent me on Saturday. I’m not sure this is something any mom wants to see, but at least Chase isn’t wearing an orange jumpsuit and sporting dreadlocks and tattoos.

So Saturday night, I went out with my girlfriends to Del Frisco’s (the latest hot spot in Atlanta dining). I have come to realize that I need to double book GNOs because for some reason people seem to flake out at the last-minute. We went to the St. Regis for drinks afterwards and it was pretty disappointing. Next time I go out, I’m doing some research and finding out where the cool interesting people are hanging out. Everytime I saw a flash go off, I swear, it was like seeing Jigsaw from the Saw series or the CryptKeeper. In Atlanta, if you’re older than 30 and God-Forbid you want to go out somewhere and dance or have a drink, too bad! I miss you Tokyo!

jigsawSunday, I committed to playing mixed doubles for a local team. The captain called me out of the blue because she needed a female for this weekend’s tournament. New team, match play, new partner (who is a man), and it’s super sunny. I was a mess, I thought I would vomit. I got there early and ended up warming up with some people from the opposing team. I felt terrible for the guy I was warming up with because I would have had trouble hitting my ass with a banjo. At one point, he told me he needed to “prepare for his match”, which normally means you want to warm up by hitting. The way he said it, I took to mean, he wanted to quit whistle-dicking around with me.

After being introduced to my new partner, we started warming up right away. Sure enough, those people I warmed up with were our competitors. I still wasn’t feeling great, but too late to back out now. We started hitting and as I played I channeled my girlfriends and my coach from Tokyo. I started to think about representing them in this game and what they would expect. It worked, because we ended up winning 6:1.6:0!

Returning to familiar places is comforting and unsettling at the same time. Things are familiar, but then I realize I am different. I have seen and done things now that color my vision. So much changing and adjusting to do, for all of us. The weather was perfect today, so I took Maggie on a long walk. We needed to talk about the new baby. I reassured her that she was my first-born and I would always have a special place in my heart just for her. Plus, I told her, with the new baby, the bitches out-number the boys now!

Baby

Baby

Until next time…

Korean Drama

December 30, 2012 By in Culture Shock, Dad Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

I’ve managed to be in America for 10 days and not drive once! Given the driving I’ve witnessed thus far, I am not eager to get behind a wheel.

Belk Flyer

Belk Flyer

SHOPPING

The first few days were rough for me, given the jet lag, food poisoning, and flu. Today I feel good, just a little sniffling. The last couple of days I have had to go to Belk’s EVERYDAY, because neither Chase nor my father wanted to go shopping and try on clothes. Now I know why.  I know Columbia isn’t Tokyo or New York, but for God’s sake, would it kill them to schedule some floor staff? Everywhere I looked, there were shoppers and stacks of unfolded clothes and no people with name tags. I’ve shopped in 3rd world bazaars with more appeal. My father has recently lost a lot of weight so I wanted to buy him some proper-fitting pants. Chase always needs new pants now that he’s a man-boy. I ended up having to shop in Boys for my dad and Mens for my son. After I finally found a few pairs of pants, I had to walk to Cosmetics to find a tanorexic, male with better eyebrows than mine who could ring up my purchases. His name was Kurt btw.

Cliff watching Korean Drama

Cliff watching Korean Drama

BREAD, LOVE, & DREAMS

My sister Mary is really into Korean Dramas. I tried watching a few different shows, but then I realized all the dramas have a particular archetypal character. Most of them don’t bother me, but there is always that one plain-faced girl with the bowl cut hair who is the understood “virgin” and is always oblivious to everyone and everything. To make matters worse, she spends 80% of her screen time breathing through her mouth and her eyes glazed over. Call me horrible, but I have a few conditions to watch anything on screen or TV: it can’t have mentally challenged people, super poor people in bad circumstances, or dumb women. I just don’t think that’s entertaining. Over the past few days, Mary has introduced us all to Bread, Love & Dreams. I’m totally hooked. I can’t stop watching it and it may actually be interfering with my ability to get over the jet lag. I don’t know if it is the show that is so interesting or the fact that Columbia, South Carolina is so boring that has Cliff watching the series now.

70 YEAR OLD TEENAGER

Onto a Korean family with a lot of drama. Mine. My dad sat us down the other night to give us the synopsis of his “lady friends”. On one hand, I’m really happy he’s getting “out there” and meeting new people, doing new things. On the other hand, our family meeting was upsetting, because he gave us the impression he needed to make some kind of decision. To make matters worse, he seems to be “in love” with someone who is uneducated, has a daughter still in school (college), and is a housekeeper! We keep trying to explain to him how you don’t have to marry anyone at his age. Why doesn’t he play the field and really explore his options? We don’t want him to be alone, but this match seems completely inappropriate. Evidently, since we were all in town for the holidays, a request had been made to meet us. How classless is that?!? How could she even presume we would want to meet her? Aside from what I have already stated… our mom just died less than 8 months ago! This is our first holiday without her! She is dumber than I thought! Anyhow, the family meeting went late into the night and by the end of it, I was emotionally drained. To hear my father talking of “being in love” with someone else nearly made me sick. Now that our feelings have been made clear to dad, he is sneaking out of the house at night, whispering on his cell phone, and not communicating with us! I like to think he won’t make any rash decisions without consulting us first, but in the end, it is his life. You hope after living with someone for 18 years, they can make good decisions on their own.

textUntil next time…

Welcome to America

December 27, 2012 By in Chase, Cliff, Culture Shock, food Tags: , , , 1 Comment

Yesterday, after breakfast, Cliff and Chase took a road trip to Charleston to visit our jeweler (my ring needed some fixing) and Cliff probably wanted to put as much distance between himself and my sneezy, sick self.

In Japan, the term “wa” refers to a certain state of harmony. I have started using it as an acronym for “Welcome to America”. The day proved to be another “W.A.” kind of day.

——Original Message——
From: Cliff Wright
To: Kathryn
Subject: On our way back
Sent: Dec 26, 2012 2:09 PM

May take a little longer…chase taking the poop of his life! ;-)

Clifford F Wright
Managing Partner, Tokyo
Global Practice Managing Partner
Supply Chain and Logistics

——Reply——
From: Kathryn
Sent: Thursday, December 27, 2012 04:51 AM
To: Wright, Clifford F
Subject: Re: On our way back

Listen, you need to be more patient.

Mary just got a call from Sam’s Club where dad bought 2 packs of smoked salmon. We just learned these packages are a part of a nationwide recall due to Listeria contamination. His frequent bowel movements are one of the early symptoms. I’m exhibiting the rest (i.e. dizziness and nausea). It can take up to a week to resolve. I hope he’s okay. Chase only had it for lunch on Christmas eve. I had it twice which I believe contributed to my immobilization yesterday.

Drive safe,
K

Net-Net: Christmas for me involved food poisoning, jet lag, and flu.

Until next time…

Reading is Good For You

December 5, 2012 By in Culture Shock, Daily Living, Grocery, Living in Tokyo, Relocating, useful Tags: , , , , , , , 2 Comments

The other day, I had some time, so I found myself on Freshly Pressed perusing a few other blogs. I was drawn to a blog titled “More Strange Book Covers” by Michael Bradley:

“Mom, why are you laughing so hard?”

I don’t want to steal Mr. Bradley’s thunder, so, I’m just gonna highly encourage you all to check it out. Make sure you aren’t drinking any hot liquids. It’s that hilarious.

When we first arrived in Tokyo, I started taking cooking classes. Specifically, Vegan Japanese cooking which has subsequently led to Vegan Indian cooking. My eyes were suddenly open to the world of satisfying, flavorful vegan dishes. Being the primary cook in our home, I soon declared, “You! Carnivores! From now on, we will have at least 1 vegetarian meal a WEEK!”  They groaned and moaned, but no one else was volunteering for the primary cook position.

Must Read

I’ve been deeply entrenched in the Omnivore’s Dilemma (aka Satanic Verses according to Cliff) and it has re-ignited my feelings about the industrial food system in America. After a few chapters, I made another declaration and announced, “You! Omnivores! We will from hence forth, eat salad every other day and intersperse fish & meat dishes on the other!”  Meatless Monday had arrived. Cliff and I had many heated discussions regarding Pastured Animals and I could tell Chase was ripe for picking. I knew then, I needed to get out the big guns.  I rented Forks Over Knives:

Must Watch!

After watching Forks Over Knives (speaking of Chase & myself only, Cliff fell asleep), I informed Cliff I was no longer buying milk for consumption “because it isn’t natural” but, I would buy it for him and cooking purposes. Judging from the whites of Cliff’s eyeballs and his comments, I know he thinks I’ve gone all Nick Nolte on him.

aka Health nut

I don’t want to substitute real food for capsules, powdered shakes and tablets! I love food. But I want to have good food for myself and my family. Moving back to the land of the Golden Arches, I am determined to do my best to support this lifestyle change and “opt out” of the industrialized food system as much as possible. Living in Japan, I have tasted and benefitted from eating fresh produce which has been driven to me and not flown. In Japan, my family eats meat that is pastured, properly massaged and kept inebriated,  as opposed to mutilated and abused. I looked into farmers markets around Sandy Springs, Georgia, but they are a mixed bag and as I recall, seem to be more about buying beaded jewelry than an assortment of fresh produce.

Must Order!

Then I came across Nature’s Garden Delivered. This is an organic food delivery service that will deliver Organic/Natural/Local goods right to your door! They won’t deliver goods from anywhere farther than one day’s drive. The Yelp! reviews for NGD are terrific so I am definitely planning to sign up as soon as we get settled in.

I know I may seem a bit nutty for all of this. Change is always perceived as insanity in the beginning. Not so long ago, I was begging for 1 vegetarian meal a week. Now, we have  “Meat Meals” once or twice a week.  But then I reflect: It wasn’t so long ago when having meat at the table signified a special evening. When everyone didn’t seem so fat. When kids didn’t have to stand in line to take their meds at lunch. When cows ate grass. These are the simple things that get swept away in the world’s attempts to make things easier but in the end they only complicate and make matters worse. I never expected living in Tokyo, I’d experience a simpler way of life, and I like it.

Allow me to encourage you to read more as well:

Another Classic

Until next time…

Touring Seoul 2012: The Omnivore’s Dilemma

November 6, 2012 By in Chase, Cliff, Culture Shock, Kathryn, Korea Tags: , , , , , , 1 Comment

-Culinary tradition: A single, strong, stable culture of food

Kimchee

Thanks to a lovely reader Wendy, I’m reading the Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan.  I always say, there are no insignificant coincidences. She mentioned the book in a recent blog and I decided to take her up on her suggestion to read it. The book is extremely eye-opening. A lot of people may be frightened by some of the food in other cultures, but frankly speaking, perhaps we should be more wary of the processed foods so readily available in our supermarkets. I digress, but one of the benefits of living outside of America is knowing my food is most likely still coming from a farmer and doesn’t have a bunch of chemicals and hormones.

In the U.S., I am always fascinated by foreigners in Korean restaurants. I always assume they are former military or must have Korean friends, because Korean food isn’t the kind of cuisine you just spontaneously have a hankering for. You have to be introduced. But once you are, there is no turning back.

Traditional Korean barbeque meal

You cannot hear about Korea without talking about the food. If you like garlic, spicy, or meat this is your cuisine. I’m just going to talk about the street food in this blog because there is so much there and it is such an important part of the Korean culinary tradition.

One of my fondest memories of Korea is remembering my aunt coming to visit us bringing street corn. It was just so yummy! Etiquette note: You should NEVER go to anyone’s home without something. Since street food is, well, on the street, it’s easy to just pick up a bag of fruit, sausages, corn, etc., on your way. Korean corn is different from American corn. It is sweeter and mealy-er and corny-er. Cliff tells me it’s the same corn used to feed cattle. Next time someone calls me a heifer, I may have to moo. Anyone who’s seen me eat corn knows, I leave no kernel behind. Seriously, you can wash with my cob when I’m done eating.

Did I mention spicy?

Koreans love pickles and peppers. Here is just a small sampling. Just looking at this stall made me thirsty. Spicy note: because spiciness is an oil-based quality, drinking water is not so helpful. My mom always taught us when food got too spicy to eat some plain rice and chew on that as long as possible to absorb the heat.

Say Ddeokbokki or Tteokbokki or just point w/ your finger

I’ll admit, the Japanese have a better system for the Romanization of Japanese than the Koreans. Thank God I can read Hangul (word for written Korean language) because the English translation of Korean is a nightmare. I don’t know how foreigners do it. Anyhow, Ddeokbokki is a popular street food and easy to make. Chase has actually gotten into it and I love that this dish will be a part of his childhood.

Pig Intestines & Snouts

Chase draws the line at snout

On one of our tour days, we arrived at the food stalls area in one of the old shopping districts. Think, 3rd World Food Court. It was a wonderfully funky and Bizarre Foods kind of setting.

Chestnuts, Deep Fried Food & Fish Jerky! Heaven!

Do you think a man was behind this new form of street ice cream?

Fried silkworm “Goes great with beer.”

The first time I was exposed to beondegi was with a college friend on one of my visits to Korea. She and all her friends kept telling me how great it was. At the time, I was open to anything, but I just couldn’t wrap my lips around this particular street food. It was beyond nasty. You can smell it for miles. Believe it or not, this tasty snack is stocked on shelves in a can!

You say “Tornado” I say “Tornahdoh”…

This is a new one for me. Tornado Potato. Spiral cut potato fried on a stick. What could be better?…

Pig in a Tornado Potato

I know! Pig meat makes everything better according to just about every man.

In case you were wondering

This was one of the signs I encountered at the airport checkout. I guess a lot of people have tried smuggling Korean food items. I mean, 5 out of 7 restricted items are foods! One is toothpaste! which kind of makes sense. I remember one time, my mom made me smuggle 3 Cornish hens (Sam gye tang) onto a plane in South Carolina! Maybe it’s the poverty in our past, the guts in our gustation, or the struggle of our stomachs.  Food is a national treasure for Koreans. There is a taste and satisfaction that only comes from eating red pepper and garlic. It makes you laugh and cry. Definitely a metaphor for Korean relationships. You shouldn’t eat Korean food alone. It’s meant to share. I’m convinced all that garlic forces people to stick together. For many reasons.

Sometimes I’m asked for Korean recipes, well specifically, my mom’s recipes for Korean dishes. I have recently discovered a wonderful blog called Kimchimari which offers clear, easy instructions on Korean cooking accompanied by beautiful photographs. I highly recommend it if you are interested. I am using it quite a bit as a reference for my own Korean cooking. Remember, Korean food is naturally gluten-free!

I hope you all have enjoyed my ruminations on Korea. I definitely had my ups and downs, but of course, that is the nature of “having breakdowns” as Chase will tell you. As I mailed in my Absentee Ballot for the 2012 election, I couldn’t help but feel so fortunate to have both Korean and American cultures in my life. No country is perfect, but hopefully as we travel and open our eyes and stomachs to the world we can take the best of everything we experience and be better for it.

Da-eum shigan-eh bopshida…

Touring Seoul 2012 Part 1

October 30, 2012 By in Culture Shock, Korea, Mom Tags: , , , , , 4 Comments

Fermentation pots from Folk Village

  • Me: Chase you should probably wear your sneakers since we’ll be walking around a lot.
  • Chase: Sneakers?…
  • Me: Are you kidding me?
  • Chase: I forgot to pack them.
  • Me: Well, if it’s good enough for Jesus…

Traveling shoes

TOUR GUIDE

Thanks to our fantastic tour guide through Korea Private Tours, our trip to Seoul was pretty crazy and extremely enlightening. Our tour guide’s name was Julie (Hyun-joo) and she met us in the lobby of the Grand Intercontinental Parnas Seoul promptly each morning at 9am. I researched many different companies and other options and this tour company had great reviews from Trip Advisor and their rates were the best. After confirming our reservation, they sent me a full itinerary for each day of our tour. Alex (the owner) was very professional. I always find that comforting when I’m putting the fate of our vacation in someone else’s hands. We had a nice mix of history, culture, and shopping. It was really wonderful seeing the different historical sites and museums. Julie was well-informed and true to her Korean nature, full of pride for Korea. It became a private joke between Cliff and I. Everytime we saw anything impressive, we would say, “You know Koreans probably built that,” or “Koreans are the best in the world doing that,” or if Koreans weren’t involved, we would say, “Koreans are too smart to get involved with that.”

GYEONGBOKGUNG PALACE

Gyeongbokgung Palace Changing of the Guards

Our first day started at the Gyeongbokgung Palace. We visited the grounds and watched the changing of the guards. As I watched this ritual, I thought about my mom and dad and how much they would have enjoyed this. How proud they would have been. Some cross-cultural parents choose to pass on their native language, some who will share their cultural traditions or not. Almost all Korean parents pass on a pride of country to their children. There were a few times during the trip when I teared up thinking about my parents, especially my mom.

Chase wasn’t close to tears, but definitely awed.

HANGANG RIVER

Hangang River

We stopped at the Hangang River and took a walk around. The Han river is a symbol of the great sadness and happiness of Koreans’ lives over 5,000 years of hardships. It is also the bridge that connects the Northern Seoul with Southern Seoul. Night or day, this area is a terrific spot to spend some time. As I listened to our guide talk about past events in Korea, I began to make connections between my mom and the history of this land. Why my mom was such a hoarder. Why she didn’t waste 1 grain of rice. Why she served my dad and us kids first and ate whatever we left behind. She was a child of war. I can’t even imagine what losing everything is like or how that kind of loss would have shaped me.

SHOPPING ADVICE & INSADONG

Being a “tourist” in Seoul, I realize that this is a city that shops. I used to think the Japanese were incredible consumers. To quote Julie, “There is better shopping in Korea.” Everywhere I went Korean, Japanese and Chinese phrases were being tossed about and each country was definitely represented in the streets. It took me 2 days to learn, but: If there is something you like. BUY IT! Most likely, you won’t be returning to the same place. You will end up wishing you had purchased whatever later that night and definitely next morning. I am not a casual shopper. I usually shop when I have a mission, so for me to be in a place like Seoul, it was all a little overwhelming. First, I’m playing with “funny money” again, and then, when I am trying to purchase things, I get confused as to whether I’m converting to yen or dollars, and to make matters worse, haggling is made that much more difficult by all the nouveau riche Chinese who are throwing money around like it’s confetti. It’s insane.

Dong bang means Poop Bread.

Insadong is a beautiful shopping area which is full of Korean culture and crafts. It is also full of art galleries and quaint, delicious cafes. You can find expensive ceramics to daily use items. In the little mall area I was able to score a name stamp. I selected the stamp stone and requested the engraver to mark it with my name in Hanja (Korean/Chinese characters). In Asia, this stamp is equivalent to your hand-written signature:

Kim Min-jung

I’ve been wanting to get one of these signature stamps for a long time. I thought about getting one done in Tokyo, but the prices were outrageous. When we went to Beijing, I thought about it there too, but I questioned the quality. Getting my name stamp in Korea just felt right. As much as I have enjoyed living in Tokyo, the unexpected result of this has been an exponential growth of Korean pride. When I graduated from college early, my parents gifted me the opportunity to explore Asia by myself. During that trip, I came to Korea. As a young adult, I was so excited to come and really get to know my extended family and find out more about my own parents. What happened was a horrible culture clash between my birth grandmother (mom’s side) and a deep resentment for the Korean people (both my side and theirs). I vowed never to speak Korean again and not to ever visit this country again. After hiding in my room and becoming depressed,  mom ended up flying out last-minute to rescue the last few weeks of my trip. She changed everything. I saw her transformed into the young Korean girl she once was. We were co-conspirators against my grandmother, sneaking out of the apartment every chance we got. She took me to her favorite hangouts and we met up with her childhood friends. She helped me appreciate Korea in a new and personal way. All these years later, Korea is helping me appreciate my mom in new and personal ways.

Until next time…

Portion Control

October 4, 2012 By in Aesthetics, Culture Shock, Daily Living, Living in Tokyo Tags: , , 1 Comment

Lesson 1:LIMITED CHOICES

Tokyo is the capital of portion control:

Training begins early

I had to laugh when I saw this at Chase’s Japanese doctor’s office. If you have ever been to a pediatrician in America, at the end of your visit, your child was probably shown a Costco-size bucket of stickers, or just an array of rolls like this:

Good for keeping you around for another 10 minutes

I was thinking about this this morning, because like the good American that I am, I believe “if a little is good, then more is even gooder.” So I swear, I literally jumped out of bed to turn my microdermabrasion kit on and use it on my elbows. I forgot that area my last Me-Monday, so I had to hit it first thing. If they come out with a home laser kit that’s any good, I’m going to be in real trouble. CRY-FOR-HELP: Please friends, if I start looking really horrible, “Save Me!” I am spending some of my microderming urges on Chase. He thinks it feels funny and I have brain-washed him into thinking I am literally saving his face so he lets me do whatever.

Lesson 2: EAT OFF PLATES NOT PLATTERS

Knowing that restaurants are going to feed you more portion-appropriate sizes is sort of a relief too. You don’t have to think about it anymore. You don’t have to feel badly about finishing your plate because it isn’t a platter. Most things here are sold and meant to be eaten in 1 or 2 bites!:

Seasonal Dumplings

Initially, the reduction in food portion size is a little shocking, but after a while, you get used to it and suddenly you understand again that satisfied does not equal stuffed. I’m starting to believe thinking itself is over-rated. I think that’s also why I like trainer-led exercise classes.

Lesson 3: DON’T FORGET TO CLEAN UP IN THE END

Chase, also being a good American required a lesson in portion control regarding toilet paper. It’s one of those things you never think you need to teach until you have to call the plumber because it looks like a mummy died in your toilet.

What does your technique say about you?

In the spirit of Tokyo and instruction manuals and portion control, I explained to Chase that we like to live 3-sheets to the wind. He then shared a very traumatizing memory of some toilet paper malfunction which evidently left him scarred and traumatized. Despite being pretty disgusted, I held him and told him to get over it.

Until next time…

Tokyo Year 2

August 19, 2012 By in Baseball, Culture Shock, Daily Living, Japanese Excursions, Living in Tokyo, Tokyo, Tours, Uncategorized, useful Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Just by reading this blog, you are witnessing a miracle. Many of you know how horrible my jet lag is so the fact that I can turn on a computer and put together sentences only a week after returning from America is quite an accomplishment. I love how Cliff seems to apply tough love to the situation and acts like I have never left. Within hours of getting off the plane, Cliff requested I cook Indian for dinner.

THURSDAY

Chase fit right in w/ these baby Buddhas

Cliff decided to take the day off and asked that I pull together a hike or tour for us to do as a family. Mind you, Tokyo is practically at 100% humidity at all times now and the temperatures are always above 90′s. I keep having to remind myself I am too young to be going through menopause even though I am in a constant state of full-body-sweating. Given this is Obon season, I booked a walking tour through Tokyo titled “Blood of Samurai“. Lilly, our tour guide, walked us through historical graves, shrines and the like, all the while providing interesting bits of history and folklore.

Lipstick Buddha

One of our stops included the shrine of the Lipstick Buddha. Different from the Lipstick Lesbian, Lipstick Buddha is where you go to have beauty bestowed upon you. You can apply some of your own makeup to the statue or just use some of the pressed powder available at the shrine. I was not going to miss my opportunity to apply generously.

Head Washing Pool

Many of you are probably familiar with the practice of seppuku (ritual suicide) as performed by Samurai when faced with losing face or dying. During our tour, Lilly, took us to the graves of the 47 Ronin and we were able to see the preserved pool where beheaded heads were cleansed. I don’t know why it really mattered whether your head was clean once you lost it, but whatever. It was a lovely spot to sit and meditate next to. In previous blogs I have talked about Japan being the capital of instruction manuals. Everything from DVD players to chewing gum has an instruction manual. Here’s the latest one I’ve come across:

How to Kill Yourself w/ a Sword

FRIDAY

Jingu Stadium

You cannot attend a game w/o proper tools

The Japanese have made buying team paraphernalia a high art form. We ended up buying some “bat beaters” and a towel, but there was so much more we could have purchased. We also stopped by concessions to pick up some food:

Concession Stand

No peanuts or cracker jack here. I had smuggled in onigiri (rice balls) and Chase opted for takoyaki (octopus balls) and Cliff had a small bucket of chicken nuggets. There were hotdogs though!

Hotdog Plate

In the stadium, you could purchase beer and ice cream from one of the walking vendors:

Beer Boy

This one happened to be a male, but believe me, most of the others were cute girls in short shorts with kegs strapped to their backsides. I asked Cliff if those were his “dream girls” and he replied, “only if they’re mute too.”

Before the game started there was a pre-show and evidently, baseball here includes cheerleaders:

Getting Ready for Players to be Introduced

These girls also came out between innings and whenever something exciting happened. It was so interesting to see the calm, stoic Japanese transform themselves into crazy, yelling fans. Each player has his own song or beat that the fans play when it’s his turn at bat. Fans of each team also have a signature move they all do, kind of like when people get up and do a wave in America. The Yakult Swallow fans raise and lower umbrellas for a great play:

Score!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE JET LAGGED WHEN:

  • You wake up wanting to vomit
  • Your eyeballs feel loose inside their sockets
  • You find yourself drinking sake aka Jet Lag Juice at 12:08am
  • You find yourself saying things like, “Shut your hole!” or “I feel like punching your face!”
  • You give your child 1000 yen and tell him to find his own way home

Until next time…

SuperSize Me

July 2, 2012 By in Chase, Culture Shock, Summer in the US, Uncategorized Tags: , , 4 Comments

“Single” Serving of BBQ Chicken Salad

CHEESECAKE FACTORY

Yesterday, Mary, Dad and I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It was a first-time for Dad and myself. Mary was incredulous that we had never been. As we are walking to our table I am marveling at the scale of everything. At first it was the giant columns, then the spaciousness of the restaurant, and then I noticed the plates of food on the tables! and by plates, I mean platters. I’m thinking: If that’s what you eat off of, what do you serve your Thanksgiving turkeys on?!? While we are waiting for our food, my eyes pan the other tables like some slow-motion camera, and I start noticing how big everyone is. It’s like that movie WALL-E has become reality. I read a study somewhere that pointed out that only in America do kids consider the word “supersize” a verb.

Diners

Notice what the blond in the front right corner ordered? Huge plate of broccoli and another huge plate of mashed potatoes. I’ll bet she’s a lot of fun.

SAKE

I recently ran out of soju. It is my newest “signature drink”. I mix equal parts soju, fizzy drink, and yogurt drink. Soju is really popular in Asia, especially among women. It has fewer calories, is considered “natural”, tastes good, and when you add yogurt to it, you can get your probiotics, prevent yeast infections, and get drunk. Anyhow, I just ran out but luckily, I had a back up bottle of pear-flavored sake in the fridge. So yesterday night, I asked Mary if she had any sake cups. Of course, she didn’t. I told her she needed to hand in her “Asian card” tomorrow. You may ask yourself, why don’t I just pour my sake into a regular glass and “supersize”? I don’t know. Somehow, drinking alcohol in thimble-size cups makes me feel less…. “lushie“.  Since Mary didn’t have any bamboo cups for me, I ended up improvising:

It just felt right

Turns out, she had a complete set of 6!

CAMP KIEVE UPDATE

I just received this in my email. I couldn’t believe Chase actually wrote a postcard to us! It brought tears to my eyes. Then I found out from the counselors that the campers “have to produce a letter home, or else they don’t get Sunday lunch.” Regardless, I am so relieved he is “Having a great time.” I check on the “Camper Connection” link on the Camp Kieve website several times a day for updates and photos. Every photo of Chase has him looking like he’s being tortured:

“Having-a-Great-Time Face”

Mary and I also noticed a lot of white, blonde boys. Camp Kieve is starting to look a lot like Junior Third Reich Camp. I am imagining camp activities like:

  • Survivor
  • Escape to Freedom
  • Will Work for Food
  • Asian POW Tag
  • Burn the Cross
  • Nuke the Gook

* The first 3 are actual camp game names

Oh well, nothing I can do now!

Until next time…

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