Tag Archives: yoga

Hello, Goodbye

December 12, 2012 By in Chase, Getting there, Girlfriends, Kathryn Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 6 Comments

friends

If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.

-Paulo Coehlo

I’m not one of those people who likes to quote quotes so much, but I came across this one by Paulo Coehlo and it seemed especially poignant. Within a year, I’ll be moving literally from Tokyo to Atlanta, and emotionally from having a mom to not having a mom. Usually, when I know I’m moving, I just skulk off in the middle of the night without warning and disappear. I would tell as few people as I could as late as I could. I hate the way people look at you like you have some terminal disease after you tell them your plans. Soon after, I can tell they have “checked out”. Since my mom passed, saying goodbye is especially hard. I’ve been walking around with a perm-a-grin similar to the Joker from Batman. I am loath to admit this, but I feel fragile. Sometimes I’m grinding my teeth so hard trying to keep the smile on my face I feel like my eyes are bulging. In the big picture, I know I am being selfish.

Golf friends

Golf friends

FROM THE OTHER SIDE

A few years ago, when I was ready to accept yoga into my life, I formed a very close relationship with my yoga instructors. Balance Yoga is where my inner yogi was born, and it was there I joined a yogi sisterhood. One day, I showed up to class to find out that one of our instructor/friend/yogi/sisters had just left. Evidently, unbeknownst to me, she was having some marital issues, and she just up and left in the middle of the night. Shut down her Facebook and phone and fell off the grid. It was so shocking. It left us all dazed and confused. It was the first time I cried after a yoga practice.

School Friend Aaron

School Friend Aaron

SAYONARA TOKYO

Tokyo is a place full of good-byes. Every 5-6 months there is this period of time when everyone is getting together to say bon voyage. I don’t blame the Japanese for being reserved. I get it now. For some of us born B.F. (Before Facebook), friendship requires more than a click on the “Like” button. Forming bonds and establishing friendships means an emotional investment is being made, and, like most things, you get what you pay for. As sad as I am to leave this wondrous and ethereal place, I am looking forward to being somewhere where I can invest for the long-term without worrying about early withdrawal penalties.

Food Friends: Nghi, Anna, & Hema

Food Friends: Nghi, Anna, & Hema

YOU’RE GOING TOO?

Nghi happens to be leaving for their next assignment in Beijing. She insisted Cliff, Chase and I come over for dinner at their place. She treated me to a night off from cooking and all of us to a terrific meal. It is nice for us to be leaving at the same time because I think I would feel saddest to leave her behind. She is so special and waaaay too good for Michael. Michael’s a good guy, but honestly, he should thank God every day to be so lucky. I can’t wait to hear about their move and “new life” in China.

Golf Friends

Golf Friends

Today’s good-bye coffee was nice because we were a table of women who were all relocating out of Japan. No one is being left behind and it’s a lot less sad.

Mayumi, Me, Grace, Alexandra, Angela

Mayumi, Me, Grace, Alexandra, Angela

I have started to just do coffee appointments because I was booking so many sayonara lunches and dinners. Now I’m all jacked up on caffeine all day, but I think it helps me biking the tough hills and my Joker smile.

My Tennis Crew from the Embassy: Sachiko, Mariko, Izumi, Hiroko, Setsuko, & Kelli

My Tennis Crew from the Embassy: Sachiko, Mariko, Izumi, Hiroko, Setsuko, & Kelli

ST MARY’S INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL

Chase has been moody as well. I’m trying to help him through it. Fortunately he’s not one of these macho types who doesn’t believe in therapy. He actually suggested taking a meeting with the school counselor to talk about transitioning. He’s so renaissance. I love it.

Leno, Chase, someone I don't know, Keibun, and Kwang-Hyun

Leno, Chase, Jae-Hyuk, Keibun, and Kwang-Hyun

I know we had issues in the beginning regarding school placement. Who doesn’t? Somethings you just don’t know how it’s going to work out until you give it some time. Cliff and I both agree (did I just write that?!?) putting Chase in St. Mary’s International School was the best thing for him. It is the closest thing to a Japanese learning environment a non-Japanese speaker could experience. In an all-boy environment Chase learned being a boy/man is defined by many things. In retrospect, if he had been accepted to ASIJ, he would have spent a majority of his time with Americans and probably missed out on a lot of cultural learning opportunities. This year has been terrific.

NEW HELLOS

Me, Bridget, Emily

Me, Bridget, Emily

Just when I think my friend list can’t get any longer, I meet new people who are just too irresistible. Take Bridget & Emily. They are part of my “spinning crowd” and we just started hanging this fall/winter. ExPats are like that. I think when you know it’s all temporary, you figure out pretty quickly it’s either clickin’ or it ain’t. Relocating is a lonely process. Sometimes it’s self-imposed and sometimes it isn’t. It’s nice to meet people who know you’re leaving and say “Screw it! let’s just enjoy the moment!” Hearing this from a woman is definitely different from a man.

Me and Nicki

Me and Nicki

SHIPS IN THE NIGHT

Chase & Mize

Chase & Mize

Just a few weeks ago, Chase started talking about a new girl at the bus stop. Her name is Mize. Evidently, the way to Chase’s heart is to tell him you like playing Minecraft. I got the feeling this girl was “different”, so being the good mom I am, I started to stalk the two of them. I followed Chase to the bus stop. I realized, the first time, it was a mutual admiration club. She is definitely checking the “like-likes” him box. This is Chase’s first crush. I thought I was going to be all jealous and bitter, but on the contrary, I’m completely enthralled with each days “bus stop drama”. After school, I ask him to give me detailed description of what happened today. Fortunately, he is happy to re-cap it all. He’s feeling quite the stud.

Watching these two, has me genuinely smiling. Soon they will have to part ways, but they are enjoying something so special. Once more, I find myself learning from Chase. He’s not ignoring her or pushing her away because he’s on his way out. He’s being present in a way that is a gift for both of them. When was the last time you had a conversation with someone and neither was hanging onto their phone waiting to be interrupted? The lunches, dinners, and coffees I’ve had over these last few weeks have been so special to me. I’ve given extra long hugs and shed a few tears. It’s hard on one hand, but that’s the nature of precious things, isn’t it?

Until next time…

Tired of “Being Tired”

September 21, 2012 By in Cliff, Daily Living, Family, Kathryn Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

Script from just about every evening of my life:

  • Cliff: I’m home! (Kathryn & Chase doing homework now for about 90 minutes)
  • Kathryn & Chase: Hey…
  • Cliff: How was your day?
  • Chase: Great!
  • Kathryn: (aggravated) FINE! We need to finish this page!
  • Cliff: Okay, I’ll go get changed for dinner
  • Kathryn: Yeah, go do that.
  • Cliff: How are you feeling?
  • Kathryn: I’m tired. I swear, I don’t know how I’m going to make it. Please fill my sake cup.

This morning, I don’t know why, I just felt different. Yesterday, I finished reading a beautiful book called Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo:

Heaven is for Real

My girlfriend Beth gave it to me after this summer. She’s always good for a dose of “Jesus Juice” and I have learned to quit resisting. It may take me a while, but I always get around to reading or watching whatever she suggests. Chase started reading the book first. I was still embroiled in Shogun. After reading each section, Chase would inevitably start talking about what he had just read and I would shut him down in my attempts to keep him from “spoiling” the book for me. How dumb am I? I decided to sneak the book while he was at school so we could resume our “book club”. The book is only about 163 pages and I was able to finish it in a day and a half. I could have done it in a day, but someone’s gotta get dinner on the table.

Heaven is for Real is not going to be nominated for a Pulitzer. It is not Hemmingway or even John Grisham caliber writing. The story itself is beautiful and true. I won’t “spoil” it for any of you who might be interested in reading it, but I know you won’t regret it. There is nothing like hearing about someone else’s tragedy or even near-tragedy to make you take that extra breath before you “lose” it, to feel grateful for the things you have taken for granted, and say things you should have said a long time ago and every day since.

Script from this morning:

  • Kathryn: Hey Cliff
  • Cliff: Hey
  • Kathryn: I want to say something.
  • Cliff: Okay (suspicious & wary)
  • Kathryn: I just wanted to let you know… right now… I am not feeling tired. I am happy. I am grateful for how hard you work for us and I respect you tremendously.
  • Cliff: Thanks. (cue hug & big smile)

One of my yoga mentors is Jennifer Smith from Balance Yoga in Atlanta, Georgia. She has this great way of simultaneously stretching our minds and our bodies. One day she posed the question of: “What comes first? The Smile? or the Happy Thought?” Then she said that studies have shown if you smile hard enough for long enough, the thoughts will follow. If smiling at your husband causes him to shrink in fear, maybe you aren’t doing it enough. Remember remember remember.

Until next time…

Reap What You Eat

November 2, 2011 By in Daily Living, Japan, Kathryn, Living in Tokyo, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

In my last blog, I referred to some well-known geographically related pseudonyms for stomach upset. Well, given my own experiences and penchant for the “local flavor”, along with Delhi Belly I am officially coining the phrase Korea Diarrhea. I don’t know what it is exactly, all I know is last night while I was cooking dinner I was in a fetal position on my kitchen floor. The funny thing is, Cliff and Chase just walked around me to make their dinner plates. Of course there was the gratuitous “are you alright?” but given they way they just kept walking, I didn’t feel like they really cared. I haven’t been feeling right since I returned and last night it just hit me hard. If you’ve already heard of Korea Diarrhea, then no sweat, and if you haven’t, feel free to steal it from me when you come to visit. The symptoms include: REALLY strong gas pains, but you don’t produce what you think you should and you just walk around looking 5 months pregnant from all the bloating and clutching your stomach. I swear, I wouldn’t be surprised if I have a bleeding ulcer, it feels THAT bad. Today I’m feeling better. Managed to make it to yoga.

Before I forget, here are more pictures from Korea. Family stuff:

After yoga, I bought Chase a metal bento box because he is going to the zoo Friday and they requested a lunch from home. Bento is what they call the boxed trays or boxes they serve food in in Japan. I will try to take a before and after of Chase’s first Japanese-style lunch from home. I am actually making yaki-soba tonight for dinner. It was one of the dishes I learned at yesterday’s cooking class. I’m going for it.

When I am not making a delicious, healthy meal at home, I confess: I eat at the convenience store. Don’t judge me! I have not become a hobo and I am not trying to re-live my undergraduate days. Convenience stores in Japan are very different. I know I must sound like a broken record when it comes to quality control, but the “Kombini” here often carry fresh produce, fresh pastries, and a wide assortment of delicious eats. Inventory turnover is several times a day, so you are always getting fresh product.

Shelf at Family Mart

Quality Control

I know what you’re thinking, “Maybe instead of Korea Diarrhea, Kathryn has a case of the Kombini Runs”. Not so my friend. The timeline just fits.  Back to the Kombini, a lot of the food is ready to eat right out of the package, but if you purchase a cup ramen or something else that needs heating, just ask the counter person and they’ll do it for you! So cool. I never thought I would suggest Chase eat at the convenience store, but like I say: We’re in Japan and I have yet to see any pickled pig’s feet or weirdly pink hot dogs on the rotisserie.

Just so I can come full circle, I want to share my POD for today:

Japanese Kinder

This morning after yoga, I stepped out and had to pause for this caravan of elementary Japanese students. There are so many moments like this I wish I could share with you all. Moments like when I am biking in the morning and the air is brisk through my hair and the sun is beaming through the tall buildings or when I see the fish master making his cuts of fish so meticulously, or when I see all the people squeeze into the trains at rush hour.

I know I mentioned the apps I have been enjoying (currently involved in 3 Words with Friends), but I am also doing a CRAZY amount of reading. Just as an FYI, I thought I would let you know what I am reading. The book I just finished was Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese. If you haven’t read it, READ IT. The story is incredibly compelling and the characters are well-developed. I found myself crying through parts.  Currently I am reading the TAC book club selection: Sissinghurst, An Unfinished Story by Adam Nicolson.

Until next time…

A Time to Stretch

October 26, 2011 By in Japan, Kathryn, Korea, Living in Tokyo, Tokyo Tags: , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Many of you who know me know that a few years ago I became a Yoga-Girl. I try my hardest to not get too “Amway” when people ask me why I love it so much. It’s difficult, because you know, I’ve “seen the light”. It’s definitely one of the toughest things I have ever done and the more I do it the more I learn and I appreciate just how much more I need to learn. I have been trying to find a yoga home since I arrived here. I have accepted that I need to let go of “replacing” my “fixes” from the States. Japan is a new place and new standards and no expectations need apply. So today I returned to Yoga Tree where I was thinking I would take class from the same teacher from last week and do some Vinyasa Flow. When I got to the studio I discovered a different teacher and I’ll just say, in Atlanta, I would have probably left and started thinking what my plan B was going to be because I am a spoiled exerciser. But alas, I’m here in Japan and if I don’t do this, then Plan B will probably mean wandering the streets aimlessly clutching my yoga mat.

Having taught yoga myself, I am always full of empathy for the one in front. But as soon as I realized we were doing Ashtanga primary series poses and not a Vinyasa Flow, I found myself getting resentful. Not only was she doing a different class, but the pacing was really off and I found myself having yoga-rage within myself. This was not what I expected. This is not what I wanted! I know all you Non-Yogis are thinking what the hell is she talking about?!? Just bear with me… So as I am going through this familiar set of poses, I start ruminating how she was so representative of the kind of yoga that I think gives it a bad rap for all the cardio-junkies who think its boring or slow. At some point I realized that I would have rather watched my Kino Macgregor DVD and done this in my apartment than listen to reciting poses from memory. She lacked strength in her voice, spirit and direction. Just as I was ready to just lay down and do my corpse thing (before the class was over), she said she would do some arm-balancing. I couldn’t believe it. I made the request at the beginning of class thinking we were going to be freestyling, so when we started doing Ashtanga primary I had given up and started mentally pouting. After a couple of Side-Crows, I felt better and quit drinking all that Haterade. Even though she wasn’t my cup of tea, I learned today that I didn’t hate her so much as I hated the stubborn and inflexible side of me.

Coincidentally, I am returning to Korea tomorrow. I spent the rest of the day pulling together Omiyage (gifts for people you are visiting) for my parents and my grandmother. I received a sweet note from my new girlfriend who is visiting her family in Taiwan and to quote her, “I love being home in Taipei.” I also made a new man-friend in yoga who I am hoping will turnout to be someone I can hang with and have interesting conversations. I know what some of you are thinking, but I believe in Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy and men and women having mutual respectful relationships, but I digress…

So today’s yoga lesson got me to thinking about my “stiff” feelings towards my country. I can’t be disillusioned again. I was actually dreading this second visit, but now I feel more open to it. I caught myself laughing today at memories of my Uncle who makes every visit feel like a party, at my mother who has mastered the art of muttering under her breath but still be perfectly understandable, about my father who gives the best hugs (The Japanese don’t hug… too much public affection), about myself who is never lacking for an opinion (just ask me!). We are Korean. That’s my culture.

Chase's 1st Birthday Korean-style

Until next time…

 

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